6. Stick with ‘I’ statements
No one wants to be blamed for your anger. To avoid increasing the tension, don’t place blame or criticize someone others. Instead, use “I” statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and precise. For example, say, “I’m upset that you left your clothes on the floor for me to pick up” instead of “You never do any housework.”
7. Don’t hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a powerful tool, not only for the person who needs the forgiveness but for you. Harboring negative feelings will eat away at you and make you a bitter person. If you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.
8. Lighten Up!
It’s hard to be angry if you’re laughing or smiling. Humor can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
9. Practice relaxation skills
Before your temper gets out of control, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as “serenity now” or “I don’t look good in prison stripes.” You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — find what works best for you and practice it often. But don’t bottle in your anger, express and finds a way to resolve it.
10. Know when to seek help
There is no shame if you need professional help to get your anger management under control. It says a lot of positive things about you when you know that things are out of your control and you need help to bring control back.
Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems to be hurting your personal and professional relationships, or others around you.