We have all come across a narcissist at some point in our lives, but not all narcissists are the same. Here are seven different types of narcissism. Which ones have you encountered?
1. The Winner
This narcissist must “win” at everything; even the smallest action becomes a competition. Whether it’s sports, career achievements, academics, or who can eat the most chicken wings, this narcissist needs to be better than everyone else. This type of narcissist revels in having the hottest wife or girlfriend, the smartest kid, drive the coolest car or live in the trendiest house. They are never happy for a friend’s good fortune. In the narcissist’s eyes, another person’s success is their failure, and their self-esteem takes a huge hit. They may become antagonistic, or try to overcompensate by downplaying or belittling the achievements of others.
2. The Victim
This narcissist is the most conniving. They are master manipulators who use affection and emotion to keep you close to them. Their sob story has been perfected over the years, and this narcissist will easily convince you that the world is out to get them, that they are a victim. This narcissist takes no responsibility for any misfortune in their lives; it’s always someone else’s fault. They have no remorse when using blame and guilt to get what they want from others. A victim narcissist will become vengeful if things don’t go their way.
3. The Know-It-All
This narcissist is the most annoying. They believe they are more intelligent than anyone around them. They treat their opinions as fact and become deeply offended if you dare to disagree with them. This narcissist often preaches, but rarely listen. They will offer unsolicited advice to family, friends, colleagues, even strangers. The know-it-all narcissist feels that they have nothing to learn from others and will demean and belittle anyone not “smart enough” to comprehend their brilliance.
4. The Puppet Master
The puppet master narcissist has learned to control others through several different tactics and is skilled at finding an individual’s weak spot. They have no integrity; the puppet master will lie, cheat, seduce, and withhold affection from loved ones to get what they want. They use people as they see fit to benefit themselves. They will turn family members, friends or colleagues against each other to achieve their goals. This type of narcissist has no problem using your insecurities and vulnerabilities against you without a trace of remorse.
5. The Antagonist
This type of narcissist sees enemies everywhere. They berate the wait staff at restaurants, they yell at “idiot” drivers, they leave nasty notes for neighbors for perceived slights, and they make derogatory remarks about co-workers. This expression of righteous indignation helps the narcissist feel superior and in control. The antagonist is often estranged from at least one family member with no hope of reconciliation. They have very few friends, and if they are in a relationship, their partner is likely very submissive with low self-esteem.
6. The Status Symbol
To this narcissist status is everything, their self-worth is validated by how others see them. They put all their energy in accumulating wealth, power, and social status. This type of narcissist knows how much you paid for your house, whether or not your kids go to private school, or where you take your vacations. They are president of any clubs they are members of, and always take charge of any gatherings. A status narcissist if often very smart and accomplished and makes damn sure you know it.
7. The Royal
This type of narcissist don’t believe in earning special treatment – they feel they are owed it simply by birthright, much like royalty does. The rules don’t apply to them; they feel they don’t have to follow societal norms. When faced with consequences, they will react as though they are being persecuted or mistreated. The royal narcissist, after all, is above things like waiting in line or even speeding tickets. They will also treat others – equals or even superiors – as inherently lesser than themselves. The world is their kingdom, and everyone within it is their servant.
We are who we are, and that goes for narcissists. However, we have the choice and the ability not to let them control us. That’s why you need to know the characteristics of narcissists to be able to identify them. Some narcissists can be hard to spot at first, but their masks always slip at some point. That’s when you have to decide whether to walk away and preserve your sanity or live with the consequences of staying with a narcissist.
Written by Char Brown