It’s not you, it’s me…
Are all your friends getting engaged, married or entering into some kind of a committed relationship while the only huge decision you’ve made is whether you should spend Thanksgiving watching reruns of Sex and the City or the Walking Dead?
You are not single because you are a boring, annoying, ugly, self-entitled bitch. Nah. You are a fun loving, hardworking and sociable person. So why are you single yet men are lining up waiting to marry you and have babies with you? It’s because you are a commitment phobe and these 8 signs will prove that you are:
- You love being set in your ways
The thought of having to give up control of your destiny and your life makes you shudder. You are used to living a certain lifestyle that it becomes difficult for anyone to live up to your expectations. People in relationships sometimes make sacrifices in order to make their partners happy but you can’t see yourself doing that.
- You prefer forbidden fruits
There’s something about a guy who’s taken that just makes you want to go after him even more. Available guys just turn you off but when you find out they are married, your interest in them peaks. And it’s not just guys who are unavailable that you gravitate towards. You go for guys you know you can’t have a real relationship with.
For instance, you will date a guy who doesn’t believe in sticking to one girl. The moment he starts acting as if he is interested in making you his main girl, you break up with him citing that he’s a player and you can’t enter into a long term relationship with a guy like that.
- You are too picky
Every girl has standards, some high, some low. But your standards are way up there and you refuse to lower the bar just a little. You have a long list of requirements that every guy must meet and you completely refuse to commit to him if he doesn’t check all the boxes.
- You don’t see things long term
You don’t have a problem getting into a relationship but you don’t ever see things lasting very long. You only date for fun. You don’t have a problem with getting into an open relationship either or sleeping around even when you are in a relationship.
- You justify being single
You subscribe to ideals like “with all these people in the world, there has to be more than one soulmate for me” or “Life is short, why should you spend the rest of your life tied down to one person?”
- You believe your failed relationships aren’t your fault
If a relationship fails, it’s because the guy was a looser, he expected too much, he was going too fast, he was going too slow or he wasn’t the one. If you’ve dated a number of guys and all your relationships were shorter than an Instagram video then the problem isn’t with them it’s with you.
- You like making excuses
When a guy you are dating brings up the subject of having kids, getting married or eventually settling down, you immediately change the topic. Whenever he wants you to meet his folks, you find all sorts of excuses not to or when he wants to meet yours, you avoid setting a date. Actually, you even disappear for a few days hoping he’ll forget all about solidifying your relationship to a more serious status.
- The chase is more fun for you
Getting into a serious relationship and eventually getting married sounds boring. You’d rather chase after the guys and get a kick out of it. However, once you get the guy you’ve been chasing after, you lose interest.
It’s perfectly okay to admit you have commitment issues. We all have them sometimes especially when we’ve been hurt before or we are unsure about the guy we love. What’s not normal is thinking that it’s okay to live the rest of your life with a chip on your shoulder. Get your shit together, try to move on from whatever is making you have commitment issues and settle down.
If you are not ready to settle down then so be it, there is nothing wrong with that. But it’s not fair to lead someone on knowing there is not a chance in hell it will develop into a long-term relationship. Be upfront that you are unsure about what you want in life and if they stay; whatever happens is on them.
by Jackie Kalyonge