You might love your partner more than you love anyone else, but that doesn’t mean your relationship is healthy. A relationship can seem like a loving and devoted one to the outside world, but if any of these ten behaviors are present in your relationship, you might want to consider that your relationship may be unhealthy.
When you have a problem, whether it is with your spouse or with something else in your life, it’s important that you feel comfortable going to your partner with these concerns. If you feel more comfortable going to someone else for support, this is a sign that your relationship is not as loving as you thought. It’s important that you can go to your partner with whatever feelings you’re having and know you will find comfort.
Being in a brand new relationship can cause some people to see less of their family and friends than they did before. This is not a phase that should last very long. As your relationship progresses you should resume seeing your family and having nights out with friends. A good relationship is not one where only your partner matters and you are isolated from those who are important to you.
Being blamed for your partner’s lack of success is not a healthy dynamic for a relationship. Healthy relationships are all about support. You can encourage your partner to follow a dream, but you can’t achieve a dream for someone else. Your partner has to do the work. It’s not healthy for you to feel that you’re responsible for your partner’s success or lack-thereof. If your partner blames you for their lack of success, it’s only to make themselves feel better and this is very unhealthy.
When you’re afraid of upsetting your partner so much that you are careful of your every word and action, this is not a healthy relationship. You should never be afraid of your partner’s reaction to anything you do. Your spouse may not always like what you do, but their reaction should never make you anxious. If you find yourself nervous before your spouse comes home and dread your time with them, this is unhealthy.
Name-calling is not appropriate even during arguments. It’s important to fight fairly and not say anything that might leave hurt feelings for an extended amount of time. People don’t easily forget being called names. If there is name-calling on a regular basis, this is a sign of major trouble in your relationship and needs to be stopped immediately. Couples must lift each other up, not bring each other down.
Part of a healthy relationship is wanting the best for each other mentally, emotionally, and physically. It’s normal for couples to get comfortable with each other, but it’s not healthy to enable each other to become inactive, eat a poor diet that leads to unhealthy weight gain, or participate in dangerous behavior such as drug abuse. You can’t control someone else’s actions, but you can decide what kind of relationship you really want to be in.
If things become so bad during an argument that you or your partner has felt the need to call the police for help, this is a clear sign that your relationship is unhealthy. It doesn’t matter if you were physically violent with each other, or just threatened each other with violence, calling the cops is a big deal that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
It’s not a bad thing when couples have their own hobbies, but it’s important to spend quality time together as well. If one partner is always on the computer, watching TV, or rock-climbing with friends while the other is feeling neglected, this is not a healthy relationship. If you don’t have any shared interests, you can try new things together. Even little things like going for a walk to get ice cream can be good bonding time. It’s important to get away from technology now and then and take the time to talk to each other. This is how you learn what the other is feeling and discover common goals you have.
If your partner disappears for hours or days at a time and refuses to give you any details, this is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Healthy couples can tell each other where they are going and who they are going with. Leaving a partner to worry is a selfish act that should not be tolerated.
Extreme jealousy can be a relationship killer. If you talk to someone of the opposite gender and your partner becomes jealous and pulls you away from the conversation or makes accusations about you cheating, this is an unhealthy relationship. You cannot avoid people of the opposite sex for the rest of your life. You shouldn’t be expected to give up any friends you have because your partner can’t handle anyone else being part of your life. Extreme jealousy can leave you feeling as though you are doing something wrong and gives your partner the control.
If your relationship exhibits any of the habits listed above, you are in an unhealthy relationship. Love isn’t always enough to overcome an unhealthy relationship, but if both people are willing to work on issues, the relationship can, in time, become healthy.
When you get into a relationship with a man, you get into a relationship with his friends and family members whether you like it or not. You might be lucky to get into a relationship with a man who has super cool friends and you all get along but what if you are not fortunate enough? What if you find his friends to be rude, ignorant and arrogant? What if you just hate their attitudes? It might not be all his friends but there’s that one friend who gets on your nerves every time. The bad news is you can’t get rid of his friends but the good news is you can learn to deal with them. Here’s how to go about it.
Look beyond the first impression
So maybe the first time you met him you didn’t like him very much but if you give him a second chance you might get to know him better. Maybe he was just having a bad day when you met him or he has issues going on in his life. We are not saying that just because he has issues going on in his life or he was having a bad day you should put up with his behavior towards you but it will help you understand him better.
Bring your friends along
When you are hanging out with your beau and his friends, you might feel left out. They crack jokes you don’t even understand, they have their own secret handshakes and they have this secret language that you just don’t get. It’s easy to feel left out of a group when you are the newbie and which makes it easier to hate the group members. So why not bring your friends along to help diffuse any tension. Besides, the guys are less likely to continue with their secret codes and language once they realize your girl pals are around.
You don’t have to hang out with your man’s friends every time he invites you. Hanging out with people you don’t like can be both overwhelming and stressful. Imagine having to put on a fake smile and maybe do a fake laugh when they crack jokes you don’t even find funny an entire afternoon. It’s way better to politely decline when your man invites you to hang out with his friends.
Don’t try to get him to dump his friends
Don’t put your man in a position where he has to choose between you and his friends. He loves his friends and if he’s known them much longer than he’s known you, he will dump you. Constantly complaining about his friends won’t do any good for your relationship either. Would you like it if he told you to dump your friends because he doesn’t like them? These are his friends and they aren’t going anywhere any time soon.
Spend time with your friends
If you can’t stand spending time with his friends why not spend time with your friends? We hope you aren’t one of those women who ditch their friends once they get into a relationship and only rekindle the friendship when their boyfriends dump them. Make frequent plans with your friends if you can’t stand the thought of hanging with your man’s friends.
Don’t let his friends affect your relationship
You probably have crappy friends but does that mean you suck too? Probably not so don’t let your boyfriend’s shitty friends affect your views about him. If he is a good person, he treats you right and he doesn’t let his friends interfere with your relationship, there’s no need to end your relationship with him.
If one of his friends makes you uncomfortable, be open about it and tell your boyfriend. If he is a good boyfriend he will talk to his friend and rectify the situation real quick.
You might not get along with your beau’s friends at first but once you get to know them, you’ll find they are not absolute jerks after all. However, if you don’t get along and you don’t see yourself ever getting along with them, you can choose to stay in the relationship and suck it up or you can end your relationship and find a guy who has friends you can get along with.
Does your boyfriend have friends you can’t stand? Let us know how you cope with them.
Letting go of Mr. Wrong can be just as hard as finding Mr. Right.
You are likely to encounter at least one guy that’s bad for you in your love life (probably more than one). He might be an addict, abusive, a guy who is not emotionally available, a cheater, or a player. Here are clear signs that you should ditch Mr. Wrong before it’s too late.
He is still seeing other women
Before we expound on this you should know one thing…if you have only been on one or two dates, you have no right to lay claim over this guy and neither does he. This is because you aren’t exclusive yet and he is still testing the waters. At this stage, you shouldn’t be taking things so seriously.
But if you have been dating this guy consistently for at least six months and he is still seeing other women, you should ditch him. He is wasting your time. He is obviously still keeping his options open and it’s an obvious sign things aren’t working out between you two. Don’t make the mistake of hanging in there waiting for him to make up his mind.
You are on and off
Remember in Sex and the City how Mr. Big and Carrie Bradshaw dated on and off for ten years. Even though they eventually got married, the on and off thing was a time waster for Carrie. She could have spent those ten years building a fruitful relationship with Mr. Big.
If you are dating a guy on and off, that’s a huge sign you are not compatible. Simply end the relationship and start hanging out with men who have fewer issues. If you don’t you’ll be like Carrie, wasting your good years on Mr. Wrong. And don’t be deluded that you might get married eventually. Chances are very high you won’t.
The guy’s life is in shambles
How can you expect a man to take care of you when he can’t take care of himself? A guy who is lazy, jobless, does illegal stuff or is addicted to drugs is just not worth the effort. Do yourself a favor and get out while you still can.
He has many baby mamas
Why would you go out with a guy who has seven different kids with seven different mothers? That’s a huge sign that he isn’t commitment ready and he can’t keep it in his pants. It doesn’t matter if he can support all his ten children from ten different mothers. Don’t allow yourself to be the eleventh baby mama.
Already emotionally involved with Mr. Wrong?
So you are already emotionally involved with this guy and you are having a hard time letting go. Don’t worry, there’s a solution for that.
The biggest reason why you feel you cannot let go of Mr. Wrong is because he fills a void in your life. Maybe you are financially dependent on him, he is the only guy that you think “gets” you, the sex is good, and so on. The first step towards getting rid of Mr. Wrong is to get your life in order.
If you depend on him financially, get a job. If he is the only one that “gets” you, you need to find new friends.
The second step is to take care of the relationship yourself. Do not announce it on Facebook or any other social media platform. The only time you are allowed to let your friends and family help you out is if your life is in danger. Otherwise your relationship problems should be between you and your beau.
The final step is to break things off with him as calmly as possible. Please don’t do it over text messages or through your status on Facebook. Don’t drive over to his house and cause a scene either. Be mature about it. Meet him face to face, preferably in a public place and end things as quietly and as calmly as possible. And stick to your decision. Don’t break up with him today and get back with him tomorrow.
Mr. Wrong can waste the good years of your life if you keep being in a relationship with him. Once you start seeing all the signs that make him bad for you, you should ditch him right away.
Take control of your love life and happiness!
Things were going really well for you and just when you thought he was ready to take your relationship to the next level, he disappeared. It’s not that there wasn’t signs telling you something was wrong. He stopped taking your calls, replying to your messages and asking you out on dates. When you asked him about it he said it’s because he was busy at work. Because you didn’t want to appear needy, you gave him space because you knew he would come back around and things would go back to the way they were. But that’s not what happened. He stopped talking to you altogether and you were left wondering why he didn’t just break up with you instead of pulling a fade away break up. Well, we have a few ideas why he pulled that move
We all know breaking up isn’t easy. Most of the time it involves so much emotion and heart break that men prefer to just slowly pull away. He didn’t want to have “the talk” with you because it would have forced him to look for the right words to “gently” tell you he was no longer into you. He also didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Let’s face it; no one wants to hear that they aren’t good enough for the person they love.
He probably thought you would cause a scene if he broke up with you in person. He just couldn’t imagine dealing with you crying in public or throwing things at him because you were mad he was leaving you for someone else. It sounds crazy but if he had such an experience in the past with another woman, he probably didn’t want to experience that sort of drama again.
Maybe he slept with your best friend or got another woman pregnant so he preferred to run off into the night rather than tell you what he did. He knows if he told you what he did he would hurt you more than he would if he disappeared. But wouldn’t it be more hurtful if you found out from someone else what he did? Probably…but clearly he would rather someone else break the news to you than for him to do it.
Maybe you weren’t on the same page in your relationship. Maybe he felt things were going way too fast for him. Maybe you had such high hopes for the relationship and he thought the two of you were just casually dating…nothing serious. He didn’t want to hurt your feelings and he thought the best way to handle the situation was to slowly fade away.
These are just some of the reasons why men fade away. It’s a cowardly move and it’s much worse than breaking up over text or a Facebook status. But it’s the best way some men know how to break up with a woman. When you notice your man is fading out, you can do either of these two things:
This can be very hard especially if you had invested so much into the relationship. Despite the disappointment, you can choose to let him go. Besides, do you really want to hang on to a relationship with someone who isn’t brave enough to tell you what he wants to your face? But if you feel you are reading too much into things or you are just being paranoid you can:
Pick up the phone and call him. Ask him where your relationship stands and why he is fading out. You will be putting him on the spot here so don’t expect much of an explanation. Whatever the case, just be ready for the answer he will give you. Accept whatever he says. If he says he needs time to think, give him time. If he says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship let him be.
The slow fade is a common move in the dating world. You date a guy for a few weeks…even months and then he disappears. Most guys hate breaking up so fading away is a great option for them. It sucks but no one said dating men would be a smooth journey.
You knew your boyfriend had a child with another woman…
and you figured you could make things work. But now you are re-thinking your decision. You didn’t sign up for the drama, and the thought of dealing with his ex for umpteen years makes you want to pull out your hair. But before you make any rash decisions, we have a few tips you can use to deal with baby mama drama and possibly save your relationship.
Put yourself in her shoes
This will help you understand her and where all the baby mama drama is coming from. Almost every woman who becomes pregnant hopes that she’ll one day get married to the father of her child and live happily ever after. As you know, not every woman gets to live out this fairy tale, and she realizes sooner than later she has to be a single mom. Some women take it well and handle their shit, others take out all their anger and frustration on the father of their child.
So, at the end of the day remember that the baby mama is a woman with emotions just like you. Ask your man what sort of relationship he had with his baby mama, how he felt when she told him she was pregnant and why their relationship ended. This might help you understand the situation a whole lot better.
Let him handle his shit
It’s only natural that your man will vent to you how much his baby mama is driving him insane. He might vent about every disagreement or doubts they have between them but whatever you do, keep your negative comments to yourself – don’t interfere with negative energy. Turning your man against the mother of his child is definitely not a step in the right direction.
The best you can do make helpful suggestions. Let him fight his own battles. Your role will only be to support him. If she is interfering with your relationship, your man should handle her. We are not saying that you should bend over backward and let her damage your relationship but your man should put his baby mama in her place way before she gets to you. You shouldn’t have to deal with her insults or the fact that she’s disrespecting you. Your man should stand up for you.
Understand that she’s not going anywhere
Yeah, she is here to stay; and don’t think that once your boyfriend’s kids turn 18 that you’ll be free of her. The drama should lessen once the child becomes an adult, but it probably won’t disappear entirely. So, stop daydreaming about how much better the relationship with your man would be if only his baby mama would go away. Unless your man didn’t tell you he had a baby mama, (which would be fucked up) you signed up for the drama so prepare to deal with it.
Try to make peace with her
Women are territorial, especially when it comes to their children. Now that your boyfriend’s baby mama is aware that you are dating the father of her children, in her mind she may be thinking you are trying to replace her.
Try and talk to her and assure her that you are not trying to replace her as the mother of her children. Tell her you know there’s a bond between her children and the father of her children that you would never try to break. Assure her that her children will always know she is their mother. Talking it out before things become a problem might help reduce some of the self-doubt and bitterness she has.
Don’t start a fight with her
Some baby mamas are bitter and make it a mission to ruin all their baby daddy’s relationships. They like driving the new women in the father of their children’s lives insane. This type of baby mama is always spoiling for a fight. If she does something to upset you, don’t engage her. Don’t give her the confrontation she wants.
If you confront her things might only get worse. The baby mama will most likely run to your man and complain about how you’re “a bitch” and trying to overstep your bounds. You will vent your frustrations with your man about the baby mama or about how he’s not handling things to your satisfaction. He’ll probably snap from all the drama and end the relationship.
If you truly want your relationship to last, you have to adjust to the situation. You can’t wish the baby mama away, but you can refuse to be sucked into her drama. Tell your man exactly how you feel, and what you will and will not tolerate; while always remembering there’s a child involved. If your man is a responsible father, he will always try to make the best decisions for his child; and this includes limiting the amount of drama his child is exposed to.
When it comes to dating, having an impressive bank balance comes with certain dangers. In particular, some guys will look at you as a potential “sugar mama” who will finance their every whim. Here are the top eight signs that your boyfriend is only dating you for your money.
1. His interest increased when he found out about your finances
If your current boyfriend was uninterested or perhaps only minimally interested at first, think about when he abruptly started to pursue you in earnest. Can that moment be easily connected with your admission that you have a great job, an impressive inheritance or a carefully nurtured savings account? If so, it’s well worth thinking about the true motivation for his sudden desire to be with you.
2. He stopped paying for things
Some men are crafty enough to pay for things during the initial courtship before gradually reducing their financial contribution until you find yourself financing everything. If your boyfriend use to buy you dinner or offer to split the cost and yet now makes constant excuses about money then you have accidentally become his sugar mama.
3. He has expensive tastes that he can’t finance
If your boyfriend raves about the best restaurants in town and lusts after the most expensive suits, you can find yourself paying for these things without ever meaning to do so. This problem also occurs with vacation planning, when a “romantic weekend away” quickly turns into you paying for his five star hotel room and fancy cocktails.
4. He mysteriously “forgets” his wallet on a regular basis
Don’t trust a man who always offers to pay (or contribute to the price of dates) and then dramatically apologizes for forgetting his wallet. While everyone forgets to bring money or a credit card every now and again, doing it on every date is very suspicious indeed.
5. He makes excuses about personal debt
It’s easy to fall for a charming guy who tells a sob story about financial hardship. Perhaps his evil ex-wife took him for everything he had when they divorced, or maybe his business fell through after his partner betrayed him in some way. Think about how he presents these financial woes and how they might be used to manipulate you into paying for much more than your fair share.
6. He dreams big but seems lazy
Is your boyfriend always talking about the home you’ll buy, the places you’ll go, and the amazing food you’ll eat? If so, ask yourself if he makes any moves to take responsibility for those dreams. Are you paying to make those ideas a reality while he sits on his ass watching television? If so, it’s time to start facing up to the possibility that he is mainly in this relationship because he’s too apathetic and lazy to work for his own achievements.
7. He asks you to pick things up
Your boyfriend might find subtle ways of using you for your money. For example, he could say that he doesn’t have time to go to the store before you come over or casually ask you to collect his dry cleaning. If this type of thing is happening a lot, he may have a shrewd plan to have you pick up his financial slack.
8. You just feel uncomfortable with him
Although intuition is not infallible, it can give you a clue that something is ‘off’ about a relationship. If you just feel your boyfriend is insincere or manipulative and can’t quite put your finger on why, your sugar mama status may hold the answers.
There are certain things that you or your partner should NOT ask of each other. Having good communication between you and your partner can alleviate some of these issues. Once you let someone take control of your life, it’s hard to regain control.
If your partner is abusive, he should never ask you to be loyal, or expect your love.
If he ever says “Why can’t you be like her” that should be a deal breaker. Obviously he doesn’t like you for who you really are.
If he is not adult enough to handle or resolve family conflicts, it’s not your responsibility to do it for him.
If your partner is asking you to choose between him and a family member that’s a big problem. You can accept that animosity exists between a family member and your partner, and decide on your own to take sides, but your partner should never ask you to choose one relationship over the other.
You will only be enabling them if you lie to cover up for their addictions. You will become part of the problem, and you are not helping the situation.
If your partner has a problem with one of your friends, it’s okay for him to voice his concerns, but that’s it. He should never ask you to stop being friends with one of your friends, especially if the friendship precedes the relationship.
If your partner wants you to go white water rafting but you’re afraid of the water, they shouldn’t try and shame you into trying it. They can ask, but once you say no and give your reasons for not wanting to, they should respect your feelings.
Of course you can sometimes alleviate this scenario by not asking “Which dress should I wear?” or “Do I look fat in this outfit?” Ultimately, your wardrobe choice is yours, don’t relinquish control of what you wear to someone else.
Red flags should be waving all over the place if your partner asks you to relinquish your financial independence. That choice is yours, especially if you were working before you met him.
If you or your partner feels the need to check cell phones then there are some major trust issues that need to be addressed. If you don’t trust your partner, then you are probably with the wrong person.
You should never have to compromise your values, or change your core beliefs.
If your partner’s family or friends treats you badly, or insults you and he tells you to “just let it go,” you might want to let him go. He is supposed to stand up for you, not ask you to ignore bad behavior.
What are you, the maid? If you want to pick up his clothes as a kind gesture, that’s one thing, but you’re not his mom, and he’s a grown-ass man.
If he sees you are willingly to lie for him, he will deduce that honesty is not important to you. Let him know that you value honesty in a relationship. The best thing you can do, is let him work out or deal with the consequences of his actions.
Unless you want to talk about your past escapades, keep your sexual past in the vault. He does not have a right to know.
If your partner is insecure about his accomplishments or position, it will only breed resentment if he asks you to diminish your power or success to satisfy his ego. If he can’t handle your greatness, he is definitely not the one for you.
Talk dirty to me…
It’s the title of rock and pop songs…
It’s something you’ve probably been asked to do…
And maybe you fumbled around with trying to come up with a response…
Maybe you just changed the subject and hoped he didn’t ask again!
No matter how you personally feel about talking dirty, you totally get that guys love dirty talk. But have you ever wondered “why is dirty talk so arousing to him?”
Look no further as I’m here to give you the low-down on the dirty. Knowing why he loves it when you talk dirty gives you an unfair advantage. It’s sort of like having advanced sexy ninja skills to make him putty in your presence.
Come with me as we uncover the specifics to why talking dirty drives men wild!
If you have a ladylike public persona but behind closed doors you let explicit phrases tumble from your mouth, the contradiction gives him a big charge of excitement. He knows that he is the only one who gets to see this naughty side of you. Like he’s the one who inspires you to be uninhibited and that’s intoxicating to his ego.
And even if you aren’t the pinnacle of propriety, seeing you transform into a dirty little vixen for his eyes only gives him a titillating thrill. This heightens all of his senses and makes everything that much more arousing for him.
When you let loose with a string of moans and screams mixed with a variety of sexy play-by-plays and dirty directives, you show him just how much you LOVE what he’s doing to you. Your unbridled expressions of bliss tell him in no uncertain terms that he’s rocking your socks.
You see, men are hard-wired in their brains to please us sexually. This goes all the way back to cave man days. However, in modern life, there are so many mixed signals both genders give that can get in the way of him knowing he’s “done his job” of satisfying you. Dirty talk cuts right through all the gray and speaks to him clearly.
A woman who can confidently use dirty talk to get what she wants in bed is downright seductive. Most men are helplessly drawn to women who aren’t afraid to express themselves sexually. He doesn’t have to play guessing games as to how to turn you on when you tell him exactly what you want.
And your use of dirty talk clues him in that you are far from uptight or inhibited. A good time is in store for you both!
Enthusiasm is such a huge turn-on for men. In fact, enthusiasm is consistently ranked as the #1 thing that makes a man feel like sex is awesome. Think about it, a quiet partner can be misunderstood as a bored or distracted partner, and that can put a big damper on the sexy mood. He ends up wondering if he’s pleasing you which can bring up insecurities for him.
When you talk dirty, not only are YOU 100% present and in the moment, it proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are enjoying yourself. That level of engagement with what’s happening between you two validates that he’s pleasing you, refer to #2 above!
All of the reasons above activate different chemicals in his brain and are hitting some of the big triggers for his sex drive. Who knew that there was some science behind talking dirty?
Of course, not every woman feels comfortable launching into dirty talk, and if that sounds like you, you are not alone. If you’ve thought “I’m too shy to talk dirty!” or you simply want to know exactly how to talk dirty to a man I’d love to show you! All I ask is you don’t let your fears stop you from incorporating this fun technique into your sex life!
Three easy ways to ease into naughty talk are to…
A simple “I can’t stop thinking about…” followed by a message like “you naked” or “the way you satisfied me last night” or “how bad I want you right now” are ways to get your point across without being totally explicit. It’s a great place to start.
When you are having sex, you can describe out loud how much you love what he’s doing. Tell him how good he feels, tell him you don’t want him to stop, or give him directions on what to do next.
It helps to think of getting into character. What would the naughty vixen version of you say to him? Play that role and don’t censor what dirty words fly out of your mouth!
In the program The Language of Desire I teach you ways to get over any shyness you may feel about talking dirty and give you over 200+ dirty phrases that are totally done for you. I coach you through step-by-step exactly how to talk dirty to your guy and get comfortable saying naughty things.
Arthur: Felicity Keith
Because You Allow It
First and foremost, you allow it. If you accept less, nine times out of ten that is what you will get. Many side chicks accept the game their man runs on them, all the while claiming that they want a good man. Some choose to stay in the relationship even if they were duped about their status from the beginning. They believe that eventually they will be able to push the main chick out, and become his one and only. Even if by some chance you become his main chick, what have you really accomplished?
Side Chick Benefits
Let’s face it, some guys offer an excellent benefits package to their side chick. Lavish gifts, bills paid, and all the two-minute sex sessions you can dream of. For many women, this is worth the trade-off of not being the main woman. You’re not truly into him either so for you, it’s all about the material things you can get from him, the fun. You rationalize that nobody is getting hurt… well, at least not you.
You Fear a Real Relationship
The truth is, our world is filled with damaged and hurt individuals. The disappointments in love and relationships have caused many people to build walls around them. Some women figure being the side chick is safer for their hearts and emotions, while still providing themselves companionship on some level. Of course, this is a risky business because eventually you can catch feelings and develop an unhealthy emotional attachment.
You Only Offer Good Looks or Sex
Unfortunately, some women don’t know their true worth. They haven’t evolved as mature women, and they simply get by on their good looks or ability to satisfy a man in bed. For a lot of men, this is all they want from their side chick. They don’t want stimulating conversation or talks about the future, so this woman is a perfect fit for them. If you want to hold a higher position in a man’s life you have to provide much more value than this. For some guys, this may be enough to get their top spot, but you likely won’t be able to maintain it. A woman has to bring more to the table to attract and hold a good man or be prepared to attract men who are users and only see you as a good lay.
You Get a High from Being the Other Woman
Obviously there is a deeper rooted issue here, but on the surface this is an ego boost to some women with low self-esteem. You like the fact that you have someone else’s man running after you. You enjoy doing something that others view as wrong (forbidden fruit). You may have been burned and hurt in the past so this makes you feel like you’re in control. It’s just a thrill for you. You’re not ready or willing to embrace something with real substance or put forward any effort to maintain a real relationship. You see this as a game to be won or lost with no true emotions attached.
He Can’t Bring You Home to His Family
The thought of bringing you home to meet his family has never crossed his mind. You will always be his side chick because of that fact and because he knows his family would not accept you as anything more. The specific reasons why can vary with each person and family. Ultimately you provide enough benefits to keep around but he will never embrace you enough to make you his main woman, the one he takes to meet his mother.
You Don’t Know Your Worth
Low self-esteem can drive people to deal with a lot less than what they deserve, and, in this case, accept the role of being a side chick. You may have bought into the lie that you can’t do better than this man. Maybe you started out not knowing, but after you realized you were the side chick, you found it hard to walk away. Knowing and embracing your worth can help you find the strength, not to accept the situation that you know you’re unhappy with. NEVER let a man set your value, because many times you’ll come out on the low end.
‘To be or not to be?’
Is the big question when it comes to being friends with your ex. It’s a nice idea to stay friends with a former partner, but is it really for the best? Here are eight solid reasons why trying to maintain a friendship with an ex-lover could be problematic.
The best thing to do when a relationship falls apart is to move on and try to distance your self from the situation. By attempting to keep an ex in your life, even as a friend, you may be prolonging the healing process and causing both parties more suffering.
When a relationship ends it’s very easy to dwell on all the things that went wrong in it. If you try to stay friends with your ex, you may be providing yourself with a constant reminder of all the bad things that happened when you were together.
Despite your best efforts to just be friends with an ex, it takes a long time for feelings and passion to go away. The potential for relapsing and getting back together will always be there, and why start the whole cycle of heartbreak and pain all over again?
Let’s face it, you’ve probably seen your ex naked countless numbers of times. Can you really maintain a friendship with someone you were intimate with at one point in time and not think of them in that way?
You know your reasons for wanting to stay friends with an ex, but do you know theirs? Perhaps your ex is still in love with you and wants you back, or maybe they just want to control you by not allowing you to meet anyone new.
Having an ex-lover in your life could prevent you from finding that perfect person. Not only could your former partner sabotage any potential new relationship, but also you may feel guilty or hesitant to start anything new, knowing that you may hurt someone else in the process.
One of the hardest things about breaking up is seeing a former partner with somebody new. If you remain friends with your ex, it’s inevitable that this will happen at some point, so save yourself the pain and cut them loose before you have to go through additional heartbreak.
There is always a good reason why even the strongest relationships fall apart. Whatever the reason, just think, if you couldn’t be in a relationship with them any more, why on earth would you be able to be friends with them?
Unless you have a child or business together, trying to be friends with an ex can be more trouble than it’s worth. If you want to save yourself heartbreak and pain, the best thing to do is to let your ex go and move on with your life.
An Austin, Texas man is demanding a refund from his date after she texted while they were at the movies.
Brandon Vezmar filed a petition at a small claims court seeking $17.31 in damages.
He claims he spent that much money to take his unidentified date to a 3-D showing of “Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2” on May 6, he told the Austin American-Statesman paper.
“After the movie started, defendant activated her phone at least 10-20 times in 15 minutes to read and send text messages, in direct violation of the theater’s policy, ” his petition states.
Vezmar accuses his date of “adversely affecting the viewing experience” of moviegoers.
“While damages sought are modest, the principle is important as defendant’s behavior is a threat to civilized society,” his petition says.
Vezmar told the newspaper that he met the woman online, and that it was their first date.
“It was kind of a first date from hell,” he said, adding that texting at the movies is, “like, one of my biggest pet peeves.”
“I said, ‘Listen, your texting is driving me a little nuts’ and she said ‘I can’t not text my friend,’” he told local TV station KVUE. “I said ‘maybe you can take it outside to the lobby, I’ve seen people get kicked out movies for this.'”
Vezmar told the Statesman she refused to stop when requested and that he suggested she should go outside if she wanted to continue. She left the theater and never came back, he said, leaving him stranded because they had driven in her car.
According to the woman, who asked the Statesman not to use her name, she was texting a friend who needed her.
“Oh my god, this is crazy,” the 35-year-old woman told the Statesman.
The unnamed woman also released the following statement to KVUE TV station:
“I did have a very brief date with Brandon that I chose to end prematurely. His behavior made me extremely uncomfortable, and I felt I needed to remove myself from the situation for my own safety. He has escalated the situation far past what any mentally healthy person would. I feel sorry that I hurt his feelings badly enough that he felt he needed to commit so much time and effort into seeking revenge. I hope one day he can move past this and find peace in his life.”
The woman told the Statesman that she only texted on her phone two or three times.
She said she was texting a friend who was having a fight with her boyfriend. “I had my phone low and I wasn’t bothering anybody,” she said. “It wasn’t, like, constant texting.”
The woman told the paper that Vezmar had called her to ask her to pay him back for the movie ticket but she refused because “he took me out on a date.” Meanwhile, she said, she planned to file a protective order against Vezmar for contacting her little sister to get the money.
According to the lawsuit, the paper reported, the texting was a “direct violation” of the theater’s policy and that his date “adversely” affected Vezmar’s viewing experience and that of other patrons.
“While damages sought are modest, the principle is important as defendant’s behavior is a threat to civilized society,” the petition said.
“I’m not a bad woman,” the woman told the Statesman. “I just went out on a date.”
Vezmar told KVUE that he is “fully aware of the weirdness of this situation.”
Is he really?
No, it’s not what you think!
Do you want LOVE from a man? Then rub his reptile.
Do you want him to WORSHIP you like a goddess? Then rub his reptile.
Do you want him to finally get over his weird EMOTIONAL HANGUPS & commit to you?
Then once again, rub his reptile.
I don’t know if you know this or not but every human being has something called the reptilian brain.
The sole job of this portion of your brain is to ensure your survival and to make sure that you achieve maximum possible pleasure out of everything you do.
So the core job of this brain is survival and pleasure.
This brain basically follows 2 rules…
Rule 1- Unlike your logical brain, this brain doesn’t have the power to reason and only understands the simple language of pain or pleasure.
Therefore, it tends to motivate you to do more of the things which please you and less of the things which give you pain.
Rule 2 – Since this brain doesn’t have any power to reason, any message sent directly to this part of a man’s brain is followed with an extreme sense of urgency because it doesn’t have the power to reason, and it has no power to reject a command.
For example, if I say “DON’T” think of a big, fat, blue COW…
What’s the first thing which popped into your head? An image of a blue cow RIGHT?
That’s because your reptilian brain can’t reject a command even when it is told “Not to do something”.
Therefore, when you plant messages or suggestions in a man’s reptilian brain, he becomes utterly immune to everything else and follows through with your commands as if it is something really urgent.
So now can you understand why I kept saying rub his reptile?
To illustrate this further, let me ask you a quick question…
Have you ever been around a man, who was starting to grow bored and distant to the point where you tried desperately hard & did all the right things…
…but nothing worked and he kept slipping further and further away from you?
By the same token, have you ever seen a man going absolutely brain dead in attraction for a specific woman to the point…
…where he ends up doing some very shocking, embarrassing and almost stupid things?
Why do you think such a thing happens?
This happens when a man’s reptilian brain is completely convinced that a particular woman is a source of pleasure…
And as a result it force feeds feelings of attraction in a man’s system which urges him to actively pursue that woman.
When the reptilian brain concludes that being around a certain woman isn’t pleasurable enough, it will naturally make a man feel that ugly knot of bitterness in his stomach, which will make him feel repulsed by that specific woman.
In short, if you know how to trigger a man’s reptilian brain the right way, you can make him go absolutely crazy for you but get it wrong, and he will massively hate you and won’t even know why.
Plus, you’ll also discover…
The “Sizzling Desire Technique”…
This will make his mind go blank & something inside him will scream that you’re the only one for him. He’ll be so hooked that everything you do will just make him fall a little more in love with you.
Do you know about the “Emotional Bankruptcy technique”?
This makes a man treat you like a “Rare Gem” that he must care for with a passionate intensity.
He’ll feel so over his head in love with you that he won’t feel at ease until he lets you know how much he appreciates every breath, every word, every hug & kiss you share with him.