The majority of women have done this in their relationship at some point.
As I’ve matured, I’ve become a woman that knows what she wants, and I’m not afraid to ask for it. But I haven’t always been this assertive. In the past, I honestly had no idea exactly what I wanted and felt I couldn’t risk bruising my partner’s ego by asking for certain things.
For some reason, I saw my satisfaction as secondary to my partner’s. I thought I was supposed to pretend to enjoy myself in an effort not to make sex “too complicated” or unenjoyable. To not come across as difficult.
So I lied. I moaned, groaned and smiled, and sometimes I was barely able to keep myself from yawning when I was less than impressed by my partner. I claimed to like the things being done to my body that was, well, plain awful.
We have allowed some men to maintain a sense of pride and confidence in their lovemaking skills when they should have received a failing grade. Not only as women did we fail our partners by giving them a passing grade, but we also doomed the next woman to mediocre sex.
So to set the record straight, I have compiled a list of lies that I, and some of the women I know have told in the past.
Lie: “Yes, of course I came.”
Truth: I’ve never completed with you because you don’t last long enough.
If a man can only last five minutes as most do on average, and he expects that you will have an orgasm from intercourse alone, he is an idiot. If you are allowing him to believe that will, you probably never will. If it’s taking five minutes from start to finish (no foreplay) you will always be frustrated. Don’t lie to him and have him believe otherwise, because he’ll assume five minutes is enough with his next partner.
Lie: “Size doesn’t matter.”
Truth: Come on, let’s be real. You damn well know it does.
What woman doesn’t like the look of a well-endowed man? We can become aroused just looking at a penis with an impressive length and thickness that’s rock hard.
But isn’t just about looks. Functionally, very tiny penises don’t really feel like much is happening. Sometimes, you think it’s in, but you have no idea. All of this is not to say that a smaller penis can’t be worked with, but a man who has one should know he has one, and learn how to use it the best he can.
Lie: “You are the best I’ve ever had.”
Truth: If you were, I wouldn’t even have to tell you.
If you were the best I’d ever had, here’s how you’d know; I’d be passed out panting after our sexcapade, and you would be the first person I called whenever I needed to blow off some steam. If a man is truly the best a lady has ever had, he can push her sexual boundaries because she will always be receptive and willing to try different things. If a woman seems unengaged, that means you aren’t the best, so don’t waste time fishing for that compliment.
Lie: “I’ve only been with (x) number of guys.”
Truth: Well, what precisely do you mean by “been with?”
In America’s hook-up culture it’s getting harder to keep track of everyone you have a sexual encounter with. Especially if we include the entire range of sexual expressions (oral, hands, a bit of spanking, dry humping, sexual intercourse, etc.). Some woman can, a lot can’t, so let’s keep it 100 on that fact. Many millennial ladies are not virgins, and we shouldn’t have to pretend to be one to make any dude feel better.
Lie: “Penetration is the best.”
Truth: Penetration is the least likely way to get women off.
Don’t get me wrong, there is something delicious about penetration. It helps you feel connected to your partner in a way that other sex acts might not. But let’s face it, it’s just not the easiest way for women to get off.
Lie: “Ohhhhhh!! Yyyeaahhhh! That’s it!!!”
Truth: “Hurry the hell up and come!”
Often, us ladies are doing all of that moaning and screaming not necessarily because the sex is that mind-blowing, but because you’ll think we’re on the verge and go ahead and release your wad. Don’t believe me, fellas? Well, check out the studies, only 57% of women reach completion every time they have sex with their partner.
Ladies, it’s not all the man’s fault; as women we must take some responsibility for not getting what we want out of lovemaking. And the only way to do that is stop inflating men’s egos. If the sex is bad, let them know, in a gentle way of course. Life is too short to put up with bad sex!
If your man is exhibiting any of these signs, you might need to rethink your relationship because he doesn’t have your best interest at heart.
1. He’s vague about his life
Asking and answering questions is all a part of a new relationship. It takes time to lean a person’s character, but when a man is vague and mysterious, about his age, where he lives, his relationship status, and essentially who he is, you should be alarmed. Run away from a man who is hesitant to divulge who he is beneath the surface.
2. He doesn’t take you out
If a man is uncomfortable being out in public with you, has regulated your interactions to “house dates”, or will not take you to places where there are crowds, you have to ask yourself why? He could have Agoraphobia, but most likely he is hiding something. Pay attention.
3. You can’t reach him for days on end
Simply put when a man is genuinely interested in you he is consistent. He doesn’t disappear and become out of reach for days on end. Most men pursue what they want; they make a priority of people and things that interest them. So unless your man is a traveling salesman (even then you should be able to reach him by phone) be leery of someone you can’t get contact on a regular basis.
4. He’s selfish
Selfishness kills relationships. We all struggle with this at times. However, if you notice this to be a consistent character trait in a man who you are dating, this should be a red flag. If his wants and needs are always first on the agenda, you will be in for a world of frustration and resentment. Don’t settle for always being second in the relationship. Your needs and desires are just as important as his.
5. He’s only in it for the sex
If sex always seems to be at the center of his date plans, run! If he becomes less interested in your ideas for dates once he realizes sex is not on the menu, it may be a sign that’s all he’s interested in. Don’t try to rationalize it, let his actions speak for themselves and act accordingly.
6. He’s immature
If you are looking to build a strong long-lasting relationship, you can only do so with a man who is responsible and dependable. Irresponsibility is often a sign of immaturity. It takes a committed and responsible man to maintain a successful relationship of great quality. This commitment must be first evident in his everyday life if it is to ever show up in your relationship. The maturation process is seen not heard. Don’t fall in love with the noise.
7. He doesn’t care if you date other people
Men that truly care for something or someone are possessive and territorial about their interest. If you have been dating for some time and he remains all too willing to let you continue to play the field, he most likely has no plans to settle down or just doesn’t plan to settle down with you.
8. He contacts you last minute for dates
He rarely plans dates with you beforehand. When you do go out, he always contacts you the day of; hey what are you doing? You want to hang out tonight? If it’s consistently a last-minute thing he probably has a lot on his plate and you just aren’t first on the list. Be careful.
9. Silence is not golden
Smart Phones are everywhere. On top of calls and texts, there are constant notifications from twitter, Facebook and emails just to name a few. Many people use their cell phone number as their business number also. So I wouldn’t be alarmed by consistent phone activity (unless of course he’s constantly talking and texting during your dates) as I would be if there were NO phone activity. Turning the cell phone ringer off is the oldest trick in the book. Whose cell phone never rings!?
10. You haven’t met his family or friends
No man is an island all to himself. If you have been dating consistently for a period of time and haven’t met any of his family or at the least met some of his close friends you may not be that important to him. Men show off the things or people that they are proud to have and feel are valuable. If you remain hidden, he doesn’t look at you as a gem. Are you okay with that?
If a long-term relationship is your goal, you might want to steer clear of these guys. Most likely you just end up wasting your time, and getting your heart broken. Relationship experts have concluded that these 10 types of men should be avoided if a serious relationship or marriage is your goal.
1. Still hung-up on his ex
We have all been out with this guy. He says he’s over his ex, yet at every turn, he talks about her and compares you to her. Please, he is not over her and until he is over her, he is not marrying you.
2. Not ready for a serious relationship
This is the guy who dates a lot and never seems to stay in a relationship for very long. Every time his partner starts to get serious about the relationship and want to take it to the next level, he uses the excuse that he’s not ready. The question about this guy is this: Is he really not ready, or is that just a convenient excuse to dump you and avoid the commitment?
3. Always looking for a bigger, better deal
You know this guy. He is the one who likes you a lot but is always wondering if there is a better version of you out there, somewhere in the universe. Honestly, do you need to be with the guy who is never going to think that you are good enough to marry?
4. Hangs out with the young crowd
This is the guy who is 47 and a big-time executive and all of his contemporaries are married, but he hangs out with 25-year-olds at the club. He is out until 3:00 a.m. several nights a week, looking to pick up women half his age. He is the man who kids himself into thinking that when a 25-year-old girl says yes to a date with him, it’s because he is such a good guy, not because of the expensive watch he’s wearing or the outrageous car he’s driving.
5. Still trying to figure out his career
If he is 40-plus and having a midlife work crisis, believe me, he is not going to marry you. Men need to be settled in their careers or at least know which direction they are headed on the career front before they can settle down.
6. 50-something and never been married
This guy is lurking everywhere. He is 50-plus and never married, yet he will swear to you that he is ready. When you ask him why he is still single, he will tell you it’s because he hasn’t met the right one. Then the question becomes that if he hasn’t found her in the hundreds of women he has dated before you, what is going to make you so special that you are going to be his one? Probably nothing.
7. Doesn’t believe in monogamy
This guy thinks he is very avant-garde progressive, but most people will say he is just looking for an excuse to cheat. Do you really want to be with a guy who tells you upfront that he won’t be faithful?
8. All about him
This guy is all about himself, 24/7, 365 days a year. Sharing your life with someone is hard enough, so do you really want to sign up to be with someone who is so into himself that they will never truly notice you – your needs, your desires, your ambitions?
9. His kids are the only thing he cares about
This guy is a tricky one. When you first meet him, he is endearing because you admire how dedicated he is to his children. You think to yourself that you would like to be with a man who is that responsible. However, then you start to see that he doesn’t have any room for you at all because he is only about the kids. If you are going to be with a man with kids, he needs to want to find a place for you, front and center, in his life at least some of the time.
10. Dates other women who mean nothing to him
This guy is really a commitment-phobe in disguise. Why does he need to date women who mean nothing to him if he is dating you and you supposedly mean something to him? You do the math.
Look at the entire package, his actions are telling you what you need to know.
If you’re truly into a guy, you might look at his positive actions and conclude that he’s into you too. Because you like him, you might push aside the actions that are telling you, loudly and clearly, that you’re just a temporary stop. Here are four signs that the man you hope to have a relationship with probably doesn’t share your feelings.
1. He never texts during the day
If a man doesn’t text you until after 11 p.m., he’s probably not interested in you in a romantic way. He might be bored or just sees you as a friend, but just because he’s shows interest in how your day went, doesn’t mean he has deeper feelings for you. Chances are, he’s just putting in his time so that he can have sex with you. If he’s used to texting you only late at night, it’s because he knows he can. If you want to know if he sincerely cares about you, stop replying to those late-night texts. Reply in the morning and see what happens. If he begins texting during the day when things are not sexual, he might be interested in you. If he still doesn’t text until late at night, you know what he wants.
2. He disappears for days at a time
A man who is into you won’t disappear for days on end. If he does, he will come back with a good excuse for doing so. When a man isn’t into you, he can easily spend days away from you and come back acting as though nothing happened. Actions speak louder than words. Any man with a smartphone or computer will not have an excuse to disappear on a regular basis. If you allow him to sweet-talk you each time he comes back, he will continue to disappear and you’ll keep believing he’s cares. When he disappears constantly, he is telling you that your potential relationship isn’t a priority to him.
3. You haven’t met anyone in his life
If you’ve been seeing a man for a few months, you should be starting to meet the other people in his life if you haven’t already. You may not be ready to meet each other’s families yet, but that doesn’t mean friends should be off limits. Meeting a man’s friends is a big sign that you’re important in his life. If you ask him to hang out with you and your friends and he constantly declines, he’s probably not as into you as you think. He’s happy seeing just you, but doesn’t want your two lives co-mingling.
4. He asks for last-minute dates
If a man wants a date with you, he won’t wait until the last minute to ask you. If the man you’re interested in consistently asks you for last-minute dates, you can safely assume that other plans fell through and you’re a last resort. Expect more from the man you’re interested in. Don’t accept last-minute dates. If he’s truly interested in you, he will work harder to see you. He will learn that he needs to ask for dates earlier. If he doesn’t take the initiative, you have your answer.
When you like a man, you’re going to focus on his positive actions and words. If you want to know how he really feels, you need to pay attention to the moments when he’s not treating you the way you deserve to be treated. Those moments mean as much as the positive ones.
We spend about a third of our life sleeping and so many health problems can be alleviated by getting a good night’s sleep. Sleeping in the proper posture is extremely important to get the best sleep possible. A number of specialists have listed several recommendations on how to sleep properly, which will fix many sleep issues. Here are some tips that will help you to improve your sleep quality.
Trouble Falling Asleep
If you have trouble falling asleep, you should avoid using any phones and computers before bedtime because the light of the screens can affect your sleep-wake cycle. Also, you shouldn’t consume any caffeinated foods and drinks, such as chocolate, coffee, black tea, soda, and energy drinks, at least six hours before going to bed.
Regular exercising is also beneficial for improving your sleep. You should exercise in the morning and afternoon on a daily basis. This will help you to improve your blood circulation, tone your body, and fall asleep much easier.
Inability to Wake Up
Even though many people are suffering from this problem, it can be quite easy to fix. If you can’t wake up in the morning, you should set your alarm at the same time every day, including on the weekends.
In case you want to wake up early, you should make sure that you are going to sleep early in the evening.
The best posture for relieving neck pain is sleeping on your back with a pillow under your head and under both of your arms. Make sure that your pillows are either orthopedic or roll pillows.
If you sleep on your side, you should avoid using a high pillow. The height of the pillow should be equal to the width of one shoulder. This will help you to keep your neck in a correct position.
If you experience back pain, you should sleep on your back. Place a pillow under your knees in order to restore the natural spinal curves and to lower the tension in your tendons.
In case you are a stomach sleeper, you should place a pillow under your pelvis and lower abdomen. This will prevent your back from moving forward.
Moreover, if you are sleeping on your side, you should curl up in a fetal position. Bring your legs toward your chest and keep your back arched. You may put a small pillow between your knees for support.
If you are dealing with shoulder pain, you should avoid sleeping on the side of the painful shoulder. Also, you shouldn’t sleep on your stomach because this position causes misalignment of the shoulders.
The most effective posture for reducing shoulder pain is lying on the back. You should put one pillow under your head and another on your stomach.
Hug the pillow on your stomach in order to keep your shoulders in a stable and correct position.
Sleeping on the back is not an advisable posture for those who tend to snore. In this position, the throat tissues sag and the tongue moves backward into the throat narrowing the airways.
To help with your snoring, sleep on your side with your head lying in a natural position. This way nothing will restrict the airflow.
Also, overly soft pillows can cause your head to tilt backward and increase snoring. Use an extra pillow or elevate the head of your bed a few inches to stop your tongue from falling back over your windpipe.
If you suffer from frequent heartburn it’s a good idea to lie on your left side. The left-side sleeping position prevents stomach contents from coming back up into the esophagus, preventing heartburn.
Do you have aching legs at night? Use a roll pillow or the foot of your bed to keep your legs lifted during sleep. The venous blood accumulated in your legs will run downward, and you’ll feel better. Also, try rubbing or lightly massaging your legs before retiring for the night and definitely avoid any caffeinated beverages six hours before bedtime.
Sleep disorders can be caused by many factors, from fatigue and uncomfortable shoes to problems with the digestive or nervous system. Only a doctor can determine the true cause of the problem and advise a source of treatment.
A woman who has her shit together and who doesn’t cater to drama, is the best girlfriend you could have. She may be intimidating at first, because she doesn’t put up with game players or someone who’s going to waste her time. But she is the best girlfriend you’ll ever have. Here are just a few reasons why:
What you see is what you get. You never have to wonder if she’s putting on a front just to reel you in, because she doesn’t really care what you think. She’ll be her authentic self because she lives by the mantra, “Take me as I am, or watch me as I go.” She knows her worth, and won’t diminish her morals or values just to reel you in.
A woman who is comfortable with herself, has her own life and she is happy to live it. Even when you’re not around. She doesn’t expect you to text every five minutes and won’t bombard you with texts either. In fact, she may prefer that you don’t constantly text her while you’re away because you’ll be interrupting whatever she’s working on. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t text her at all. She is still a woman and likes to know she is missed. Just don’t take her ability to be away from you as a sign she’s not into you.
She knows how to balance work and play time. When she’s not working her ass off to better herself, she’s enjoying life in the best ways she can. Whatever her endeavors are, she always makes them memorable.
She doesn’t need a man to provide for her in life, because she provides for herself. This means if she’s with you, it’s purely because she wants to be with you. There’s nothing more sincere and amazing than a woman who truly wants you around even when she can rock the game of life on her own.
If on occasion you forget to get something she wants done, she won’t waste her time nagging you. She knows how to get what she needs done on her own. Nagging over petty things is not her style. But beware, if she feels you’re disrespecting or using her, she won’t have any problem getting things done… without you.
She won’t throw in the towel on her relationships at the first sign of struggle, because struggle is her middle name. She faces all challenges head on and as long as you’re trying, she won’t hesitate to find ways to improve the life you share.
On many occasions she’ll be the one to initiate the intimacy between you. She genuinely enjoys sex and isn’t afraid to try new and wild things to please you and herself.
If she goes out with her girls or has to take a trip somewhere without you, she can handle herself. She won’t put herself in situations that might require someone to intervene and rescue her. She knows her limits and how to handle her business.
Being at her best is a source of pride for her. This goes for her career, her health, and her looks, so you don’t need to worry about her falling into any lazy ruts or that eventually she’ll be rocking nothing but sweatpants and a messy bun for days on end. She’ll have lazy days like any other woman, but they won’t last long because she can’t stand not being the best version of herself she can be.
If you’re fortunate enough to have her love, she’ll have your back in every way. She’ll challenge you to be the best version of yourself while making sure she supports you along the way. She views her relationships as priceless partnerships and she’ll strive to make your duo the best possible team you can be together. Because she enjoys life and doesn’t do anything half-ass, you must be pretty amazing to capture her heart and attention.
If only moving on was as easy as the memes say…
Regardless of who ended the relationship or how it ended, people frequently struggle with the common problem of finding themselves alone. Too often you find yourself exercising bad behavior to mask the pain you’re in:
So instead of falling into the above bad habits, try some of the suggestions below to keep yourself from plummeting into despair and making your breakup easier to deal with.
Unless you are the type that have relationship drama every other week, your friends will happily be there for you to talk to. Not only will talking with your friends lighten the internal weight you feel but they can provide perspective about the relationship that you couldn’t see.
Breakups can be stressful and can send you spiraling out of control, but if you maintain a healthy routine you are less likely to fall into some of the bad habits mentioned above. That means maintaining a regular sleep pattern, moderate exercise, and good nutrition (sorry mac and cheese and Haagen-Dazs).
Maintaining these healthy habits may be difficult at this time in your life but they are crucial to your mental and physical health in getting over a breakup.
Your life has properly been in a tail-spin for weeks, maybe months since most breakups don’t just happen overnight. Instead of spending all you free time stewing over what went wrong in the relationship a good alternative is to put some of your new free time into a passion project or some task that you have been meaning to accomplishment. This may include working on the novel or painting you have put on the back burner, or just spending time helping others. This can get your mind off your situation and have you feeling better about your life.
After a breakup, time can seem like it’s standing still, so to help pass the time you need some good distractions. Creating something positive for yourself is an example of a good distraction but not all distractions need to be about creating something. Spending time with friends or family, walking along the beach, listening to good music (not sad love songs), watching a funny movie, reading a book, all of these things are examples of good distractions to distance yourself from the breakup.
Time is what will ultimately make the breakup more bearable, and filling that time will with good distractions will expedite the process.
No, not the hope that you will get back together with your ex. But the hope, that in time, you will be okay without your partner. Hope can help you keep your life in perspective and keep you from falling into a pool of bitterness and despair. Because if you stay on the high-road, in time you will be okay.
If you’re a single woman who’s sick of first dates that never turn into second dates . . .
Or if you’re married or in a relationship where your kisses (and sex) have all the passion of a bag of saltines . . .
You NEED to watch this heartfelt video right now . . .
The reason this video is SO important is because it reveals the devastating secret reason men “Pull Away” and why they “Lose interest” in you no matter how “hot” you are or what you do to keep him interested . . .
And shows you EXACTLY what to do (without even taking off your clothes) to have him HUNTING you, adoring you, savoring you and treating you like the most beautiful and attractive woman in the world in just 5 minutes . . .
This amazing technique has turned “Boyfriends” into husbands, “Friends with benefits” into boyfriends and couples who were headed for divorce into passionate lovers . . .
Go learn it here right now:
P.S. If you want a true “Life Long Love Affair” with a man, this will show you how . . .
After dating a pond-load of toads you finally think you’ve found your Prince Charming. He’s witty, charismatic, attractive, and attentive.
Sure there are a few things you wish he wouldn’t do, such as his tendency to exaggerate about his job and financial status. He does seem to be condescending to your best friend. And, he brags about himself… a lot. But hey, no one is perfect, besides he always showers you with compliments, making you feel special.
Sorry to break it to you, but you may be dating a narcissist.
According to the Mayo Clinic, people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) often monopolize conversations, belittle or look down on people, have a sense of entitlement, and insist on having the best of everything. NPD, which tends to affect more males than females, varies from person to person on a spectrum. Some may be on the extreme end while others are in the middle.
Of course, not all undesirable behavior can be attributed to NPD. But if your new dating prospect exhibits several signs of the disorder, you might want to put the brakes on advancing the relationship.
Ben Michaelis, Ph.D., lists the following signs to look for to help protect yourself from being used and abused by a narcissist.
You’re a smart woman, so you think to yourself “how in the hell did I get myself in this situation?” Don’t beat yourself up, narcissists know which buttons to push for any situation.
Narcissists can be highly complementary early in the dating process. But over time, when he feels like he’s “hooked” you, the power will shift and his needs will be put before yours. Your needs will be put on the back burner.
Narcissistic people are often very controlling of their partners. He may even belittle you to make sure he maintains control over you.
A narcissist has a lack of empathy toward others — including you. Someone with a narcissistic personality will always put their emotional needs above yours, or may not meet your needs at all. The key question to ask yourself is, “What is he actually doing to meet my emotional needs?” If the answer to that question is “nothing or very little” it may be time to get out of the relationship.
No one wants to question their own sanity, but that’s exactly what a narcissist will have you doing. And they’re good at it. You may not think this technique can work on you, but anyone is susceptible to gaslighting. It’s done slowly, over time, so the sooner you get out of a narcissistic relationship the better for your sanity.
Dr. Michaelis points out that “a narcissist may actually change their behavior for a brief period of time and become the ideal partner for a little while. But they usually slip back into their old ways when they feel that the person will not leave.”
So, what do you do if you find yourself dating a narcissist? The easiest answer it get the hell out of the relationship… fast! But if you’ve been dating for a while, you may need professional guidance for your particular situation, so don’t be afraid or embarrassed to seek professional help.
Being in a stable and healthy relationship is a wonderful thing.
But if you depend on your boyfriend for too much, it can create tension between the two of you. Here are four signs you might be too dependent on the man in your life.
If you only feel good about yourself when a man tells you how smart, pretty or well-dressed you are, you need to change your thinking process. You need to learn how to feel like an amazing woman without a man telling you that you are. You should be able to look in the mirror and see a beautiful, confident woman staring back at you. You should be able to celebrate your achievements without anyone else telling you how great you did because you should already know that. It’s nice to have other people acknowledge the things you’ve done, but you should never rely on them to make the things you’ve achieved meaningful or to be happy.
You might be dating the nicest guy on earth, but that doesn’t mean you have to let him pay for everything. He can love you more than anything, but proof of that is not in how much he spends on you. If you don’t have a lot of money or you don’t work, this is not a good enough excuse for not paying for anything. It’s important that you not only stand on your own two feet, but share in the finances. This applies to dates, groceries and even rent. Not only will this make you feel like more of an equal in the relationship, but it shows your man that he is more to you than just a meal-ticket.
It’s acceptable to text the man in your life to see how his day is going or to share a piece of good news. It becomes a problem if you text him constantly throughout the day and expect him to reply every time. Then get upset if he doesn’t text you back instantly. Unless he doesn’t have a job, go to school or have any hobbies, a man is not going to be able to entertain you all day. Needing to be in touch with your man every moment of the day gives the impression that you have nothing else to do with your time. Your man might start to feel smothered or that you don’t trust him. Besides what do you have to talk about when you’re face to face if you text him all day?
If you require your boyfriend’s opinion on everything you do in your life, you are probably too dependent on him. It’s fine to ask his opinion sometimes, but if you make all your life decisions based on what he thinks, if you ever breakup you’ll be up the creek without a paddle. You need to learn to trust yourself, not all your decisions will be the correct ones, but that’s life. We all make mistakes, and we learn from those mistakes. You can’t live your life afraid to make the wrong decision and it’s not fair to put the burden of your life choices on your boyfriend’s shoulders. Especially if you blame him for decisions he made that didn’t go the way you wanted them to. Your opinion is the opinion that matters the most when it comes to your life. Also, your man might start to become irritated that you can’t seem to think for yourself.
Making your boyfriend feel wanted and needed isn’t based on how dependent you are on him. You don’t want him to feel responsible for your entire life. Show your man that you are an independent and confident woman who stands on her own two feet. Most good men find a woman who can hold her own sexy and desirable. Besides, you can be a woman who is independent and confident and still be in a good relationship. -C. Brown
How many women have asked this question?
“So what’s the deal with this guy? One minute he shows me love, and the next he’s cold and uncaring. Why is he blowing hot and cold all the time? Should I hang in there or I’m I just wasting my time with this guy?”
Ladies, you’ve probably been, or are currently in such a situation. You like a guy but he is sending you all these mixed signals. Is he the type of guy who is emotionally unavailable and is in the process of figuring things out, or is he just a time waster? We have a few telltale signs that will tell you if you are being played.
He likes you to some extent
You’ve had “the talk” with him, you’ve told him how much you like him and he’s told you that he likes you…but to some extent. What does that mean? Well, ladies, don’t try to turn his words into something deep with a mysterious meaning because men are usually straightforward…most of the time.
If he says, he likes you to some extent it means he is not all the way in. He will bolt out of your relationship the moment things start to get real or you undergo some sort of change (like gaining a pound or two).
He is never very clear
“So babe, what are you up to tonight?”
“Oh you know, just doing some stuff with some guys later on somewhere.”
See how vague that answer is? What stuff is he doing, who’s he doing it with and where will he be doing it?
See, this guy doesn’t want to risk you showing up unannounced while he is doing “stuff” with some “guys” so he’d rather be vague. But all this does is leave you suspicious or left out.
A guy with pure intentions doesn’t need to be vague with his girl.
He doesn’t want to hang out
He won’t take you to the movies because it’s not his style…he’d rather hang out with you in the house. But when a movie he’s been anticipating comes out, he will go to the theater with his friends. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out he is not that into you if he’s pulling such a move on you.
He doesn’t respect your time
We are not talking about him showing up late for dates…although that is still irritating. We are talking about him making plans with you and canceling at the last minute because his buddies came up with a better plan that doesn’t include you. Never mind that you had canceled plans with your friends in order to spend time with him.
He expects you to drop everything you are doing because he wants to come over and spend time with you (read have sex) but he won’t drop what he’s doing to spend time with you.
He introduces you as his friend
You are only his girlfriend behind closed doors but when you are out there, you are just his friend. And when you bump into his hot female bff, he only introduces you by your name…doesn’t even bother to clarify whether you are a friend, girlfriend, cousin, sister, etc.
Get a clue girl, you are being played.
He never keeps his promises
He promises you the world…especially during the moments leading up to sex. But when he’s done, he’s done. He will jump out of bed, throw on his clothes and you won’t hear from him for a coupla days. Give him a week or so when he needs some sex and he’ll call you. He’ll probably feed you some bullshit phrases like “baby I missed you” or “it was really busy at work that’s why I didn’t call.”
He openly disrespects you
You are out at the club having a good time but he’s busy flirting and exchanging phone numbers with other girls.
Don’t bother trying to unleash your Taekwondo moves on those man stealing sluts because the problem isn’t with them…it’s with your man. He’s the one disrespecting you.
And he won’t just do it at the club. He will talk and treat you like trash in front of friends.
So, ladies, turn on your bullshit detector if a guy displays one of these signs. He’s probably just playing you. -Lisa Pandora
Most relationships have a shelf-life of only a few months… if that!
Sometimes it’s hard to know if you should stick around and see where a relationship takes you, or if you should cut your losses and move on. If you are having a hard time deciding which road to take, below are five signs your relationship has reached its peak, and will probably not advance to the next level.
1. There is little to no physical affection
Ask any married couple, and they’ll tell you a healthy and active love life takes some seriously concentrated effort over the long haul. But what is difficult and challenging after several years of marriage should not be difficult and challenging after several months of dating. If your partner doesn’t at least get your pulse moving a little faster every time you see them, that might be an indication you’re in a relationship that’s going to go the distance.
2. It’s all physical and nothing else
The other end of the spectrum, is when your relationship is nothing but physical. You rarely, if ever, find yourself talking about anything of value, or importance. If every “date” takes place in bed, it might be time to get out of bed and see if you have anything in common outside the sheets. Long term relationships require a solid foundation of similar interests and passions. If the only thing you have in common is how much you both enjoy lovemaking, then it might be time to move on.
3. You or your partner have stopped caring about their appearance
When two people first start dating, they tend to put an inordinate amount of effort into maintaining their physical appearance. Over time, however, as they become more comfortable with each other, it is natural to fall back into more natural patterns of grooming and self-care. There is a difference, however, in maintaining a more realistic level of personal hygiene, and just not caring at all about your appearance. When your partner shows up unexpectedly and catches you in your rattiest old sweats, that’s one thing. But when you have plans to meet and one of you can’t be bothered to tidy yourself up, that’s not a good sign.
4. Your partner is not truly committed to the relationship
It might be time to call it quits if you are contributing significantly more in a certain area than your partner and they are unable or unwilling to step up and contribute more. Ultimately, relationships require two people who are both committed to and invested in the relationship. Marilyn Stowe, a top divorce attorney and author, says: “a relationship can only be rescued and revived when both parties believe that it is worth fighting for.”
5. You don’t go out together anymore
It’s never a good sign when you stop wanting to spend time with your partner. This doesn’t mean you don’t need any “me” time away from them – that’s not only natural, it’s healthy. But when you can go a week or more without having any desire to see them, talk to them or be around them, that is not a good or healthy sign. Written by Chrissy K.