Love is a slow build. It takes time to truly know someone enough to love them. It takes time to know if your partner’s quirks are cute or just plain annoying. What we perceive as love, a lot of times is just infatuation. So when we fall out of love with someone we’ve only known a short while, it’s because we probably were never really in love with them. Remember, time will reveal a lot about a person, so don’t take time out of the equation. We need time to do it’s job. Here are eight things that time will expose.
1. Instant gratification
We live in a world where everything is fast and instantly at our fingertips. We expect things to happen immediately and get upset when they don’t. That’s what’s wrong with love. You can’t go on three dates and then be ready to live together. Time has a way of punishing people who move too fast. I love him today becomes, “What the hell was I thinking” after a few weeks.
2. Drugs and alcohol
In moderation, most things are fine, but when it becomes an addiction, it’s problematic. In many cases, drug and alcohol usage is on the decline, but it’s still love’s worst enemy in a lot of ways. Most people can hide these addictions for a short while, but time will bring these problems to the forefront.
3.Not ready for a committed relationship
Okay so you thought you had found the one, but after a few months of dating you realize maybe you’d made a mistake. You like your freedom, you don’t like the fact that you need to include your partner in your decision making. You don’t like the fact that he seems to always be around. Or you realize you are just not ready to be with one person. Time has a way of showing us we’re not ready.
4. People are more selfish
Who likes drama their relationship? Too much of it often leads to a breakup and leaves you wondering what you could have done differently. The whole point of being in a relationship is happiness and romance. Below are 5 tips to keep the drama out, and welcome all that good love has to offer.
Separate Yourself from Social Media
Separating yourself doesn’t mean deleting all your accounts because you’re with someone but a healthy distance is important. We all love to post, like, and comment but it shouldn’t cause issues. Social media has two purposes. One is business and the second and most important is staying connected with those close to you, but don’t get wrapped up in the random attention from followers. Also, avoid sharing too much about your relationship, stay away from premature relationship status changes and if possible, steer clear of the exes.
Learn When to Shut Up
From a former mistress.
I’m not proud of it, but as a former mistress, I can say first hand when a man is cheating. If you want to make your relationship less prone to cheating, or confirm he’s been cheating, there are some things you want to keep in mind.
First, you’ve got to know your partner. If you don’t spend time together just lounging on the couch or talking to each other on a regular basis, you need to. Silence is a big relationship killer. Verbalize what’s going on in your relationship, not only with each other, but talk about your work, interests, and goals.
Communication is key, so you need to keep lines open. Moreover, if you know your partner, then you’ll spot the changes in his patterns or behaviors.
Secondly, don’t rely too much on the “common” signs of cheating that are plastered and spoken about time and time again. Unless your man is a caveman, he’s probably smarter than that. These common signs include:
1. He doesn’t want sex as much. A smart cheater isn’t going to slack up on sex at home; he’ll probably be giving it to you the same as always or possibly even more often. Notice changes in the sex, not the frequency. He’ll pick up new tricks or techniques from his side chick and use them on you.
Breaking off a relationship is rarely a joyous event and can be an extremely difficult decision to make, even when all the signs are pointing to the fact that you would be better off without him. But if you had any of the issues below in your relationship, rest easy knowing that you made the right choice. Now you just have to take a deep breath and start moving on.
There are certain tasks that are traditionally relegated to men, but the truth is that you don’t need to wait for a man to do any of the things listed. YouTube is a great source for getting step by step instructions on just about anything you can think of. So knowing how to do these ten things without a man’s help is a piece of cake.
1. Changing a Flat Tire
This job might seem daunting, but you’re just as capable of accomplishing it as any man who thinks he knows best. You can find detailed, step-by-step instructions online or in a manual. Practice changing the tire before you’re in an emergency situation, that’s not the time to pull out the manual. I know you are saying “but I have AAA” which is good, but not if there isn’t any cell phone service or your phone is dead.
2. Painting (and I don’t mean landscapes)
Small paint jobs are not that difficult and there’s no reason to wait for a man to do the painting. Just start with small projects before you tackle any major painting jobs. And you might want to enlist the help of a friend if ladders are involved for safety reasons. Make a girls day out of it, capped off with some apple martinis and pastries at the end.
3. Knowing About Technology
With the abundance of information on the internet, there is no reason not to be tech savvy when it comes to the latest technology. Don’t rely on the sales person or your significant other to know all the pertinent information needed to make the best buy. Just imagine the sense of pride you will feel knowing you can make an intelligent choice when it comes to picking out the latest big screen TV and the look on your man’s face, priceless.
4. Fixing a Leaky Faucet
First and foremost, you deserve a good man who treats you well. If you have low self-esteem this fact may be eluding you, but it’s true just the same. You may be dating the type of man that seeks out women with low self-esteem because they know that they can use them with impunity. Below are four signs that your dating standards are lower than they should be.
He knows that you won’t put up too much of a fuss if he disappears for a couple of weeks. He knows that you will answer his call on the first ring, no matter how long it’s been since his last text or call. By doing this, you are telling him it’s okay to disrespect you, and take you for granted. If there are no consequences for their actions, some men will do the absolute minimum in a relationship. A man who is truly interested in you will not ignore your texts or phone calls and have you wondering if he is even still alive.
I know, easier said than done.
When a relationship breaks down, regardless of the reason for the breakup, emotions are usually raging high. Your judgement on how to handle things can become clouded and this can cause you to act before you think. Even though you might take some short lived satisfaction from busting the windows out of his car, the long term ramifications might be severe.
So it’s important to be aware of the potential consequences of acting out on your emotions. There are at least seven good reasons to keep your head when your relationship is in the tank. Taking heed of them now may save you a lot of drama… and bail money.
You are both only human
Maybe the expectations you had for the relationship was just too much for your partner to achieve. No one’s perfect and mistakes will be made.
You’ll save a lot of time
At some point the decision to breakup has to be made. All you do is waste time arguing about the same issues and either coming to the same conclusion or never reaching any meaningful conclusion. You will need a clear head to iron out the terms of your separation.
You won’t destroy your reputation or livelihood
Everyone knows that there are no guarantees when it comes to relationships, but there are definitely some early warning signs that may help you determine if your relationship is in trouble. Here we list some of those warning signs, if you catch them early enough you might be able to turn things around.
– You constantly think about your ex
Have you been thinking about your ex lately? Do you think about all the good times you shared together? Are you secretly hoping that maybe there’s still a chance of working things out. If this is the case you may need to end the relationship you are currently in and do whatever it takes to close the door on your previous relationship. Just remember your relationship ended for a reason.
– You have absolutely nothing in common
They say opposites attract, but you need to have something in common. If you don’t have shared interest in any outside activities, then you will have much less to talk about during down times in your relationship. Successful relationships take a lot of work and having nothing in common can cause you to drift apart very quickly.
– Not Maintaining Your Separate Identities
Most people look to enhance their lives by adding the company of a stable, confident and emotionally uncomplicated person. No one wants to be around someone who is constantly giving off negative vibes because of their low self-esteem. Who wants to constantly be on an emotional roller-coaster because their partner lacks confidence and is always jealous or insecure?
Before you can have a successful long-term, healthy relationship you have to be secure in your own self-worth. Someone who sees the value of their self-worth will not accept being disrespected by their partner or any other person. Small issues that pose no problem in a relationship between two self-assured people can grow into an erupting volcano when one partner feels insure due to prior experiences.
A partner coming home later than expected, failing to return a phone call or text, talking to a pretty co-worker, or just giving your female friend a compliment, can send someone with low self-esteem through the roof. A woman who is confident and knows her value will not start drama over innocent occurrences.
Not a miracle, but it can work… sort of.
Body wraps can either be homemade, purchased, or enjoyed in a spa. Many of the ingredients used in body wrap spa treatments can be found in your kitchen or herb garden. Ingredients such as olive oil, butter, honey, salt, rosemary, chamomile, chocolate, and Aloe Vera are, but a few ingredients used to make various types of body wraps. Many of these body wraps are promoted by spas as stress reducing, relaxing, or moisturizing treatments. While some body wraps are marketed as; detoxifying, body slimming or a way to control cellulite… these marketing claims may be a stretch.
Decades ago when body wraps were first offered, they were called herbal wraps, and linen sheets were used to wrap your body according to Susie Ellis, president of SpaFinder, Inc., an industry group based in New York. “‘Body wraps’ is a term that came to mean more than herbal wraps,”‘ says Ellis, adding that body wraps became popular in the 1980s and 90s. Now, plastic or thermal blankets have replaced the linen sheets.
Of course, not all spas are the same, but body wraps are often done in a dimly lit room with plenty of candles for ambiance, soothing music with the client on a massage table layered with thermal blankets on the bottom to keep warm.
It’s time you put yourself first… at least for a few hours a week.
When 2017 rolls in, the pressure will be on to make resolutions to improve yourself. Usually, they include promises to lose weight, eat better, be kinder, and establish other good habits. While you shouldn’t give up these attempts to be a better person, you need to balance them with some self-care resolutions. Commit to doing one or more of the following at least once a week.
Set aside four hours to unplug from all electronic devices, including your cell phone. If you simply can’t be unconnected for that long, try two 120 minute periods. Set the boundaries with your family and friends so they know you won’t be available. In case of emergency, have your partner, a child, or a friend serve as your contact. Experts say that unplugging is necessary for a number of reasons. Everyone’s brain needs a rest from the constant onslaught of social media, email, and texts. In fact, taking a break can help you be more productive and may even improve your memory. You will be able to unwind and enjoy reading a book or taking a quiet walk. Being constantly available to everyone is not good for your health or your peace of mind.
It’s amazing how many people have tattoos. At one time only bikers, sailors and loose women were thought to have tattoos, that stereotype has definitely changed. The number of people getting tattoos seems to be on the rise these days. More and more young people are getting them, but that doesn’t mean that some companies and businesses are receptive to them. While many companies are relaxing their polices on visible tats, some companies have doubled-down.
There may come a time when you need to temporarily cover up a tattoo and you don’t want to wear long sleeves or use a bandage. Going on a date with a new guy but you have your exes name on your arm, or a job interview and you’re not quite sure of their policy on tats, you may want to cover the tat up. No need to explain to your date the significant of a tattoo on the first date or have your resume eighty-sixed as you walk out of the interview.