You’d think that an alpha female would want an alpha male, right?
They’d be a perfect match for each other since they are both hardworking, confident, intelligent, go-getters and strong-willed. But, this may not be necessarily true. Both alpha males and females are competitive, and there’s a high chance this might interfere with what’s best for their relationship.
Since it would take a lot for two alphas to make a relationship work, it would only make sense if the alpha female got into a relationship with a submissive man, also known as an omega. The omega would let the woman take the lead in the relationship. He would agree with the alpha woman’s decisions all the time. Sounds like the perfect combination, right? Wrong! Yes, yes, we know what you’re thinking…Opposites attract, but in this case, it’s just a recipe for disaster.
Alpha females don’t need a submissive man or an alpha male. What they need is a combination of qualities in a man. Here are some of the qualities you should be looking for in a man if you are an alpha female
1. He should give you room to grow
As an alpha female, you prefer to tackle your problems head-on. You don’t have time for whining and complaining about your problems. You also know that to grow and achieve your goals you need your space. Your man should give you enough room to chase after your dreams.
2. He knows when to have your back
Alpha women need help every once in a while. A man dating an alpha woman should know when his woman needs him to step in and help her. And even when he offers a helping hand it should be to give her inspiration to find a solution not to solve the problem for her. That’s the key to balancing a relationship.
3. He shouldn’t get intimidated
You should look for a man who celebrates your success instead of getting jealous or threatened by it. When you are at the office party, and guys start hitting on you, he wouldn’t start acting like a raging idiot because he would know you have limits and boundaries. He knows the last thing you would do is to leave him for some office flirt.
4. He doesn’t mind teaching you and learning from you
Of course, as an alpha female, you like teaching. You are your own boss; a leader. But you also need to be humble and willing to learn from your man. Besides, you don’t know everything.
5. He isn’t afraid to call you out
You might be the head bitch in charge, but when you do some BS, he’s not afraid to tell you. You can scream about your incompetent assistant all you want, but when you start screaming at him, he will call you out. More importantly, he knows how to handle you at your worst.
6. He should have his own goals
The last thing you need in your life is a man without ambition. He shouldn’t just sit there and wait for you to achieve your goals and dreams; he too should be working on his success. He shouldn’t be satisfied being a sidekick to your big life plans.
7. He should be able to handle your assertiveness
Alpha females are not as nurturing or sensitive as we all would like. They are not heartless or robotic either. But for a man to have a successful relationship with an alpha woman, he needs to have some thick skin. In short, he has to be able to handle your blunt nature.
8. He knows when to drop it and when to address it
When a guy knows he is right, he will stand his ground, but when wrong, he will acknowledge it and apologize. He knows that you are strong-willed and there are bound to be differences in opinion from time to time. But he should be smart enough to know which issues to pursue and which ones to drop.
Alpha females are constantly misunderstood, and it might be a challenge for them to find the right man. But when they find a man with all the qualities mentioned here, they treasure him dearly.
– Char Brown
According to Psychologists…
Ever been told “You two bicker like an old married couple”? It turns out, that’s a good thing. According to a new series of studies by psychologists, couples who argue may have a healthier relationship than those who don’t.
Multiple studies done in the U.S. have shown that couples who argue are more likely to stay together. Psychologists believe this to be true for a number of reasons.
1. Prevents problems from mushrooming
Arguing allows couples to focus on issues that need to be solved before they become too large of a problem. When you tackle an issue when its small you have a greater chance of finding solutions that are agreeable to all.
2. Keeps communication open
44 percent of married couples believe that arguing more than once a week helps keep communication lines open. The surprising survey suggests that couples see the importance of arguing to express their needs and concerns clearly to their partner.
3. Shows commitment to the relationship
Arguing with your significant other shows you are committed to the relationship. Psychologists suggest that by fighting instead of just looking for a way out, you are showing that you want your relationship to work.
4. Shows interest in relationship
If your partner doesn’t argue with you, are they still interested in being a couple? Or have they “checked out” and are no longer concerned about the outcome of the relationship. By trying to argue things through, they’re showing that they are still interested.
5. Shows you’re comfortable expressing your opinions
If you’re looking for a sign about the future of your relationship, then the lack of arguing might be a worrisome omen. In some couple dynamics, feeling like you can’t voice your opinion or argue on your behalf could be indicative of an abusive dynamic. After all, much of abuse stems from an abuser’s desire to silence their partner.
6. Avoids resentment
Fighting helps avoid resentment. Avoiding issues that need to be addressed is a key indicator of passive-aggressive behavior, which often leads to resentment. By regularly arguing, you avoid feeling resentful because of bottled up frustrations.
7. Good fighting
Psychologists did observe that there is a difference between “good fighting” and “bad fighting.” A good argument can result in constructive actions, no resentment, and a healthier outlook on life. A bad argument is often abusive and results in one partner giving control to the other just so that the arguing will stop. Unlike with “good” fights, “bad” fights will often lead to resentment.
8. Bad fighting
Obviously, fighting can get ugly. The study shows that having too many “bad” fights tends to cause breakups. No one what to be in a relationship with constant fighting, good or bad. So despite the overall trend of frequent arguments having an overall good effect on a relationship, breakups will occur if there is too much fighting.
If done correctly, arguing can save your relationship and even make it more enjoyable. According to psychologists, there are several rules to fighting fair.
1. Stay on topic
The most important rule is to stay on target. Stay focus on the topic at hand and don’t bring up issues that happened in the past.
2. Respect Is Key
Once you stop keeping things respectful, most arguments veer into the “bad fighting” territory.
3. If you are wrong, apologize
It doesn’t make you a wuss to apologize if you’re mistaken or crossed the line from fair fighting into the Bad Lands. Rather than making you look weak, it shows your partner that you respect them.
4. Don’t bring in a third party
Arguing with your partner is not a tag-team sport, so don’t bring in your sister, mother, or best friend. A good way to make your partner feel disrespected and isolated is to bring in others to the argument. Similarly, psychologists strongly advise against comparing your partner to someone else.
5. Don’t fight dirty
Know that there are certain lines you don’t cross and for each couple those lines are different. But you know what they are. If you cross one of those lines, if you try to get the upper hand by bringing up something you know is hurtful, don’t be shocked if you can’t repair the damage you do.
by Char Brown
Muscular guys are good to look at and daydream about…
But they can be high maintenance, so it’s no wonder why some women like a man who is tall and a little husky. Here are 15 reasons why husky men are a desirable commodity.
1. He’s confident and comfortable with himself
There’s nothing more attractive than a man (or woman) who is accepting of themselves. He doesn’t feel the need to change for anyone.
2. He’s not superficial
Looks are not the most important thing for him. So, the pressure is off for you always to try to look your best around him. Of course, this doesn’t mean you can let yourself go, but you don’t have to constantly stress over your outward appearance.
3. He won’t shame you
Go ahead and eat that third slice of pizza (if he hasn’t eaten it already). He won’t shame you if you gain a pound or two.
4. He’s your life-sized teddy bear
Cuddling into all his soft spots will feel like you’re snuggling on a man cloud.
5. He lasts longer in bed
Research done at a university in Turkey found that men with bigger bellies lasted 7.3 minutes longer on average than other men. That alone is enough to get yourself a teddy bear.
6. He’s not obsessed with healthy eating
Of course eating healthy should be your goal but come on, who doesn’t want a nice cheeseburger and fries now and then.
7. He knows how to have fun
He doesn’t mind acting silly once in a while because he not constantly wrapped up in what other people think of him, so he lets loose without fear of people judging him.
8. He’s not self-obsessed
He won’t spend most of his free time at the gym sending you selfies. He won’t spend hours primping in front of a mirror before you go out and he won’t spend all his money on clothes or cologne.
9. He can easily pick you up
Think of all your sexual fantasies. Think of all the different positions; I’ll leave it at that.
10. Endless supply of oversized t-shirts
There’s something about sleeping in your man’s oversized tees that make your sleep just a little bit more soundly.
11. He’s sensitive
If he’s been husky his entire life, he knows what it’s like to be body shamed and would never inflict that hurt on someone he loved.
12. He’s happy
Researchers at McMaster University found that people with the fat gene FTO showed fewer signs of depression. There’s a reason why the word “jolly” is synonymous with being husky.
13. You’ll feel comfortable being naked
You’ll feel more comfortable getting naked in front of him. His body is not perfect and doesn’t expect yours to be either.
14. He won’t judge your bad eating habits
On the contrary, he’ll welcome your late night potato chip craving with open arms. Just make sure you have enough to share.
15. He might outlive you
This can be a good or bad thing, depending on how you look at it. Still, according to the Journal of the American Medical Association, the thinnest people, similar to those who have the most body fat, have higher rates of death.
by Char Brown
Are you the type of mom who tells it like it is…
And may use a little profanity to get your point across?
Moms who use profanity don’t care what anyone else thinks about their parenting skills. What they do care about is their child’s safety, health, and happiness, and if they use a little colorful language on occasion – so be it.
They don’t take BS from anyone
You’re not just going to walk all over a mom who doesn’t mind using a little eyebrow-raising language. Moms who use swear words are rarely taken advantage of because no one wants to be on the receiving end of one of their lectures. Acquaintances, teachers, friends and family members know the number one reason for such a talk is a perceived wrong done to their child.
Profanity using moms are passionate
They may drop a good, mouthy expletive here and there to let people know they really, really mean what they’re saying. There will be no doubt in your mind where she stands on an issue.
They’re more creative
Psychologist Richard Stephens of Keele University who led a study published in the journal “NeuroReport,” found that people who curse are often more creative. It makes sense: the F-word is probably one of the only words that can be used as a noun, verb, adverb, adjective, and interjection.
They don’t care about being ladylike
Who gives an ‘eff about being ladylike when you’ve pushed a human being out of your vagina? And she doesn’t want to hear that shit about a real lady doesn’t curse. No, a real lady knows when it’s appropriate to use profanity and when it’s not. A mama who curses will most definitely teach her kids that today’s standards of femininity and womanhood are, well, trash.
Just look Amy Poehler, Mindy Kaling, Leslie Jones or Abbi Jacobson! Women who curse know how to laugh at themselves and life, and never take things too seriously. When life hands them lemons, they make a margarita — or shrimp linguini.
They cope better with life’s challenges
Turns out, cursing serves as an excellent coping mechanism. In fact, swearing literally – yes, literally – makes a person feel less pain, according to Stephens. “I would advise people, if they hurt themselves, to swear,” he says. So the next time you stub your toe, feel free to yell, f***!
They’re less stressed
When it comes to motherhood, there’s seriously no bigger stress relief than screaming every curse word in the English language when your kid does something crazy. They take a five-minute bathroom break to drop at least ten F-bombs. Mamas who curse know the acute therapeutic effect that comes with cursing and uses it to their advantage. I think we can rate swearing on the same stress-relieving level as yoga – and it’s free!
They don’t care if you curse
So if little Johnny has sensitive ears, and you don’t like the fact that they may drop an F-bomb on occasion, keep your kids away from them. They will try to control their tongue around your kid, but they feel you’re a grown-ass person and can handle a little shit.
They don’t date just anyone
Curse-loving moms want a sensitive man who is financially and emotionally secure. One who values her, and her kids. She doesn’t have time for someone who is trying to take advantage of her or waste her time. And she definitely won’t tolerate anyone who treats her kids poorly. That mama will have some choice words for you!
Like, really, really dirty — in the bedroom that is. Moms who curse will whisper some of the kinkiest or filthiest things you’ve ever heard. Their creative minds will have a grown man blushing and wanting more.
They don’t bottle up their emotions
These mamas vent their frustrations and explain what’s on their minds, putting them in healthier mental states than those who prefer to bottle-up their thoughts and concerns. When something is bothering them, they make it known because they know how good it feels to simply let it ‘effin go.
by Char Brown
Do you use your middle finger so often that’s it’s become an automatic reflex?
Do your coworkers have your blood pressure soaring on a daily basis? Anger is a normal emotion – but shouldn’t be bottled up. So, it’s important to know how to deal with it healthily.
Keeping your temper in check can be challenging. Use simple anger management tips — from taking a timeout to using “I” statements — to stay in control. So before you snap, it’s time to get your anger under control. Start by considering these ten anger management tips.
1. Think before you speak
Counting to ten is not just a clique. We’ve all said things in the heat of the moment that we’ve regretted. To prevent this from happening, take a little time to collect your thoughts before speaking. If you see others involved in the situation pausing before responding to you, be patient, they are probably trying to manage their anger also.
2. Once you’re calm, get it off your chest
Express your frustration once you become clear headed. Be assertive but non-confrontational. State your concerns and needs, without hurting others or trying to control or blame them.
3. Get some exercise
Physical activity can help reduce the stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.
4. Take a timeout
Timeouts aren’t just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what’s ahead without getting irritated or angry.
5. Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your boyfriend constantly cancel dates at the last minute? Stop planning events that include him. Do your coworker always pick you up late for the carpool? Find another way to work. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.
6. Stick with ‘I’ statements
No one wants to be blamed for your anger. To avoid increasing the tension, don’t place blame or criticize someone others. Instead, use “I” statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and precise. For example, say, “I’m upset that you left your clothes on the floor for me to pick up” instead of “You never do any housework.”
7. Don’t hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a powerful tool, not only for the person who needs the forgiveness but for you. Harboring negative feelings will eat away at you and make you a bitter person. If you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.
8. Lighten Up!
It’s hard to be angry if you’re laughing or smiling. Humor can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
9. Practice relaxation skills
Before your temper gets out of control, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as “serenity now” or “I don’t look good in prison stripes.” You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — find what works best for you and practice it often. But don’t bottle in your anger, express and finds a way to resolve it.
10. Know when to seek help
There is no shame if you need professional help to get your anger management under control. It says a lot of positive things about you when you know that things are out of your control and you need help to bring control back.
Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems to be hurting your personal and professional relationships, or others around you.
Who doesn’t want to hear the words “I love you?”
But do the spoken words mean the same to both partners? Relationship experts explain that the phrase is often perfunctory and other words can better convey how you feel about someone.
So here are five statements you can make to let your partner know you are appreciative of them and that you are paying attention.
1. “Thank you.”
Two words that aren’t used enough. Gratitude is something that we all need and seek from people. If we do something nice for our partner, we naturally want to be thanked. By thanking them, we demonstrate that we recognize our partner’s contributions and value what they bring to the table. It’s also positive reinforcement–if they know they’ve done well, they’re more likely to repeat the good behavior in the future. If they don’t know you care, they may not.
2. “I appreciate everything you do.”
Yes, this is expanding on “thank you,” but consider it a polite acknowledgment to add to your repertoire of sincere compliments.
It’s another way to tell your partner that you value them and the contributions they make to our lives. Affirmations are fuel for a happy relationship. They keep us going when it doesn’t feel like the rest of the world appreciates us. They strengthen the bonds of the relationship and lead to an even greater desire for intimacy and closeness.
3. “I’m here for you.”
Feeling like you’re alone during a crisis is one of the worst things you can feel. Everyone needs reassurance, especially during the tough times that every relationship eventually faces.
When a partner screws up, this reassurance can go a long way to help them correct their mistakes in the future. It also helps them know that your feelings haven’t changed, and they still have your love and support.
4. “I love you the way you are.”
For your relationship to move to the next level, you need to start expressing an unconditional love for your partner. If you offer that unconditional love, then you’re strengthening your intimate relationship. Without that, we’re just one screw up away from our partners seeing us in a negative light, losing respect for us, and looking for an escape route.
5. “I care about your feelings and value your opinions.”
For any relationship to be healthy, it’s important that people feel their partner takes them seriously and listens to their views.
We don’t always agree with our partners, but fully listening and accepting them is still essential when two people are struggling with an issue that they feel differently about. Considering your partner’s feelings and opinions is necessary for compromising and finding solutions that are agreeable to both parties.
Of course, words alone are meaningless. So listen to the words your partner says but make sure they are backed up by their actions and make sure they are consistent.
– C. Sky
Do your significant other have you on the verge of snapping?
Do your coworkers have you saving money for the eventual bail hearing? Are you screaming into your pillow at night trying to expel the rage that’s built up during the day? If you have answered yes to any of these questions you need some serious anger management classes.
Or, is the reason you’re wielding a bat like Negan from The Walking Dead because of your astrological sign. Take a deep breath and let’s take a look at the zodiac signs and see which ones are the most likely to snap.
I doubt you’ll be going on a killing spree anytime soon. Your compassion for people and willingness to listen hinders you from acting impulsively. You have an inner ability to calm yourself which helps you tolerate even the most insensitive person. The only thing that might have you resulting to violence is if someone threatens your family, at that point all bets are off.
You’re too creative to be a real killer. Oh, you’ll think of a hundred ways to do away with someone, but by the time you’ve imagined their demise in your head, the anger you felt for them will be gone. The importance you place on relationships with others will get you through even the toughest times.
You’re not the one to snap. Your ability to find a calming solution to your problems will help you get through most situations – no matter how frustrating. You can find ways to balance almost any issue without going off the deep end.
Probably not – unless there is some financial gain to be had. Your stubbornness and desire for control can be tricky, but your dependability and kindness should overcome any negative emotions you might have for someone.
You may plot, might watch a few episodes of CSI or Forensic Files for some pointers, but in the end, you know you have others depending on you. Doing a few years in Sing Sing is not in your cards, you’ve set your ambitions a little higher than jail.
You might be the one. Your impulsiveness and bad temper tend to get you in trouble – a lot. Your high confidence level will have you thinking you can get away with murder. Once you become angered, it’s hard to reign in your emotions, but if you rely on your friends and family to steady you, jail shouldn’t be on your horizon.
Nah, as long as your partner is giving you space to be you. Your sense of adventure, open-mindedness, and inability to stay focus on any one thing will shut-down any desire to do away with your adversaries.
Snapping is not in your future. Using your intelligence and common sense, you’ll find other ways to remedy any problems you may be having with loved ones or coworkers before snapping becomes a concern. Even though your self-worth may take a hit, your ability to heal and fix others will save the day.
Talking with a therapist is definitely in your future. Your disconnection with the world and loner mentality is a recipe for disaster. The one thing that might keep you out of the pokey is the fact that you’re intelligent enough to find a non-violent way to handle your anger management.
You might want to have a lawyer on retainer. When pushed too far your pride and stubbornness will make it difficult for you to back down, even when it’s for your own good. Your short temper makes it difficult to diffuse bad situations. Your fearless attitude makes taking shit from others, not an option. Yeah, snapping is in your future.
Depending on the amount of pain caused, snapping is not out of the question. Since your greatest and weakest strength is your sensitivity, once you’ve been hurt vengeance is always on the table. If you can find a way to get past your emotions, you’ll be able to forgive those who do you wrong. But if you let your negative emotions fester, you’ll end up in jail or the mental ward.
Snap no, leave yes. You’re charismatic and able to talk your way out of most situations. But your lack of compassion and lack of interest in the things around you will have you ditching people who have been in your life for years. So no, you’re not likely to snap, but you are likely to decide it’s in your best interest to embark on an adventure away from your problems.
These predictions are made for entertainment purposes only. If you really think you’re about to snap, please talk to someone who can help you manage your anger problem.
by Char Brown
Oh baby, that’s it…
It’s a wide known fact that women don’t always have an orgasm every time they have sex. There are a number of reasons as to why they don’t orgasm every time but we won’t delve into that now. We don’t always let our men know that we didn’t orgasm. We’d rather let them sleep at night knowing they are sex gods and they always make us shudder with orgasms (yes, I know that part of the problem). Here are a few things guys do in bed that make us fake it.
Some guys only need you to brush your lips against theirs to get a hard on. If only it were that easy for women to get turned on. What guys need to understand is that we are not light bulbs such that when you need to turn us on, all you need to do is flick a switch.
That’s not how it works. Women need foreplay…plenty of foreplay. It shouldn’t last less than fifteen minutes. And it has to be good, not fumbling around. But some men are too lazy for foreplay so it’s just better to fake it and get it over and done with.
Arrogance is what makes some men think they are sex gods. They think that if they touch a woman’s breasts a little, maybe pinch the nipples a little harder then she’ll be turned on. Well, that technique might work for some women but it doesn’t work for all. Women are different and want different things in bed.
You know many woman don’t like anal so why bring it up when we are in the middle of having sex? “Oh, baby, can I stick it in the other hole?”
If you have a weird and disgusting sex request like a hot carl (you might want to Google that if you don’t know what it is) then ask for it after sex so we can tell you a big fat NO.
A guy has to study his woman in order to know if she likes certain things in bed or not. This way, any requests he makes won’t turn her off.
Okay, so you got a big dick but what can you do with it? Just because you are well endowed, doesn’t mean you can make a woman orgasm. There are plenty of women out there who can testify that size doesn’t matter. What’s the point of having a huge member if all you will do with it is hurt the woman with it? We can tighten our muscles a little bit, mourn a little bit and shudder a little bit to make the guy think we’ve had an orgasm just so that we don’t have to endure the pain any more.
Okay, most women aren’t confident about their bodies but guys can make it worse by pin pointing our flaws. So we have stretch marks and a bit of cellulite…you don’t really have to point that out now do you? If a guy is going to go down on us, he doesn’t have to exclaim how different our vajayjay looks from any other girls he’s gone down on. And if we know we take too long to orgasm, we might just fake it.
As much as we’d like it if we all had an orgasm simultaneously, this rarely happens. A real gentleman let’s his lady go first, even in bed. There are many ways for guys to stall an orgasm…like pulling out and going down on your woman. It’s always disappointing when a guy doesn’t last long and we have to fake it to make him feel like he made us orgasm too.
Okay, we get it, you want to make us orgasm so that you can say you are a stud or a king in bed or whatever. But for most women, it’s not about the orgasm. Sometimes, it’s all about the journey towards the orgasm. Women can be satisfied sexually without ever having an orgasm. But most guys think an orgasm is what determines whether the woman enjoyed sex with him. So to make things easier, we just fake it.
A guy’s behavior in bed can force a woman to fake it even if she doesn’t want to. Have you ever faked it? What was your reason?
by Jackie Kalyonge
Boobs or butt?
It’s a common debate man have tackled for years, probably centuries. A woman with a full bosom or “junk in the trunk.” Which is more desirable? Truthfully, most men will tell you they love both, but there’s inarguably something particularly alluring to the male population about a woman’s behind. So what gives? Why are backsides just so darn appealing to the male species? You may be surprised to find the answer lies in science.
Why Men Love Butts
A prominent derrière – or more aptly, the curved spine it’s connected to – held an important significance to our nomadic ancestors.
Eric Russell, a psychologist at the University of Texas at Arlington, says “Over the course of human history, women faced the adaptive problem of a forwarded-shifted center of mass during pregnancy.” Russell wrote, “”Women with a greater degree of lumbar curvature … were able to redistribute this center of mass to reduce the strain of pregnancy. Thus, we hypothesized that men should have a psychological adaptation to prefer these women as mating partners.”
A study conducted by a team of psychologists at Bilkent University in Turkey asked 300 men to rate female silhouettes with lumbar curvatures between 21 and 61 degrees. A moderate curvature of 45.5 degrees was the most favored, and further research explained that women with that level of curvature would have conferred with the evolutionary advantages mentioned earlier without preventing a higher risk for health problems, namely back troubles.
The most important revelation of the study was that the structure of the spine itself, not just the fat and muscle of the buttocks, was integral to a man’s level of attraction toward a woman’s rear.
The study’s lead author, psychologist Doctor David Lewis, explained that while men may direct their attention to the buttocks and insist that’s where their interest lies, they are unconsciously gathering information about the curvature of a woman’s spine. “Alternatively, men may have preferences for both lumbar curvature and buttock size. Future research is needed to better understand the latter,” said Dr. Lewis.
The study was published on February 7th, 2015 in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior.
So there you have it. The real reason why he can’t take his eyes off you when you’re in your favorite pair of body-hugging jeans. What’s your stance on the situation? Is it really just a matter of science, or have the survival implications been bred out over generations and left men with a senseless but strong love for our tushes?
by Chrissy K
Most people prefer working in an environmentally control office versus working on a factory line or outside working in the rain or heat. Unfortunately the comforts of sitting at a desk for hours also has disadvantages that could damage your health.
Numerous studies have shown that prolonged sitting can increase your chance of getting diabetes, certain cancers, cardiovascular diseases and obesity.
Not to worry, below are a series of exercises you can do at your desk, or on your break – no equipment needed! Just the chair you’ve been sitting in.
These simple chair exercises can easily be incorporated into your fitness routine. Do them all daily or choose a couple to do each day and in short order, you’ll see a difference in your waistline!
DOUBLE KNEE LIFT WITH SIDE BENDS
How It Helps:
This exercise shapes your waist by using your oblique muscles to burn fat from the sides of your belly.
How You Do It:
How It Helps:
You will burn fat on the sides of your belly and your hips.
How You Do It:
How It Helps:
This helps to strengthen your ab muscles.
How You Do It:
FULL BODY LIFT
How It Helps:
This exercise burns fat fast. Your belly, back and shoulders will be toned and taut.
Warning: before you begin this exercise, be sure that the chair is stable and that the legs/arms can fully support your weight. Do not try this exercise on a chair with wheels.
How You Do It:
How It Helps:
Excellent for your waist, this exercise works your oblique and lower abdominal muscles.
How You Do It:
How It Helps:
Strengthens your abdominal muscles, improves your digestion and helps to burn fat.
How You Do It:
It’s not you, it’s me…
Are all your friends getting engaged, married or entering into some kind of a committed relationship while the only huge decision you’ve made is whether you should spend Thanksgiving watching reruns of Sex and the City or the Walking Dead?
You are not single because you are a boring, annoying, ugly, self-entitled bitch. Nah. You are a fun loving, hardworking and sociable person. So why are you single yet men are lining up waiting to marry you and have babies with you? It’s because you are a commitment phobe and these 8 signs will prove that you are:
The thought of having to give up control of your destiny and your life makes you shudder. You are used to living a certain lifestyle that it becomes difficult for anyone to live up to your expectations. People in relationships sometimes make sacrifices in order to make their partners happy but you can’t see yourself doing that.
There’s something about a guy who’s taken that just makes you want to go after him even more. Available guys just turn you off but when you find out they are married, your interest in them peaks. And it’s not just guys who are unavailable that you gravitate towards. You go for guys you know you can’t have a real relationship with.
For instance, you will date a guy who doesn’t believe in sticking to one girl. The moment he starts acting as if he is interested in making you his main girl, you break up with him citing that he’s a player and you can’t enter into a long term relationship with a guy like that.
Every girl has standards, some high, some low. But your standards are way up there and you refuse to lower the bar just a little. You have a long list of requirements that every guy must meet and you completely refuse to commit to him if he doesn’t check all the boxes.
You don’t have a problem getting into a relationship but you don’t ever see things lasting very long. You only date for fun. You don’t have a problem with getting into an open relationship either or sleeping around even when you are in a relationship.
You subscribe to ideals like “with all these people in the world, there has to be more than one soulmate for me” or “Life is short, why should you spend the rest of your life tied down to one person?”
If a relationship fails, it’s because the guy was a looser, he expected too much, he was going too fast, he was going too slow or he wasn’t the one. If you’ve dated a number of guys and all your relationships were shorter than an Instagram video then the problem isn’t with them it’s with you.
When a guy you are dating brings up the subject of having kids, getting married or eventually settling down, you immediately change the topic. Whenever he wants you to meet his folks, you find all sorts of excuses not to or when he wants to meet yours, you avoid setting a date. Actually, you even disappear for a few days hoping he’ll forget all about solidifying your relationship to a more serious status.
Getting into a serious relationship and eventually getting married sounds boring. You’d rather chase after the guys and get a kick out of it. However, once you get the guy you’ve been chasing after, you lose interest.
It’s perfectly okay to admit you have commitment issues. We all have them sometimes especially when we’ve been hurt before or we are unsure about the guy we love. What’s not normal is thinking that it’s okay to live the rest of your life with a chip on your shoulder. Get your shit together, try to move on from whatever is making you have commitment issues and settle down.
If you are not ready to settle down then so be it, there is nothing wrong with that. But it’s not fair to lead someone on knowing there is not a chance in hell it will develop into a long-term relationship. Be upfront that you are unsure about what you want in life and if they stay; whatever happens is on them.
by Jackie Kalyonge
What the heck is a love trap anyway?
Well, if you fall for the same type of guys repeatedly, knowingly or unknowingly, you are in a love trap. If you follow the same patterns when dating guys, you are in a love trap. So now, do you get what a love trap is? Good. We’ll now explain to you the different kinds of love traps.
You’ve known this guy since you were five years old. You grew up on the same street, went to the same school together and you’ve never dated anyone else but him. He has played you, treated you like dirt, you’ve broken up a gazillion times but somehow you find yourself back together with him.
Why this is a love trap? Because you insist on sticking to some guy who is obviously taking you for granted. Go out there and find out what the world has to offer.
Your first date with this guy was so great that you started imagining spending the rest of your life with him.
This is a love trap because first dates are never an actual representation of what the person is really like. He could be a criminal or a player. The first date is like a job interview….you only get one chance to blow your interviewer away. In this case, you are the interviewer and your date is the interviewee.
You start dating this guy only to realize that he is in a serious committed relationship or he is married but instead of breaking up with him, you start justifying why the two of you were meant to be.
Why is this a love trap? Because you keep forgetting that he isn’t your man. He is taken and you are holding on to forbidden fruits. And by the way, karma is a bitch…if you break up a happy relationship be prepared for it to come back and bite you in the ass.
How many times have you heard women say that they are looking for a financially stable man? There’s nothing wrong with wanting a man who can provide for his family but is that the only thing you need in a relationship?
Why is this a love trap? Well, apart from money, what else does your man have going on? Is he a great lover, is he emotionally invested in the relationship? Does he keep his promises?
Outside beauty doesn’t matter, what matters is the beauty inside. Yeah, right! Forget all that. You want a man who will make every woman in the room jealous of you.
Why is this a love trap? Just like the guy with money, what else does Mr. Handsome have going on apart from his looks?
You have invested so much time and effort into your relationship that when your man plays you or disrespects you repeatedly, you willingly forgive him.
Why is this a love trap? Girl, a good relationship is the result of teamwork. Your man should bring 100% into the relationship and so should you. But if you are always investing 100% into the relationship and the man only invests 5%, maybe you should stop dating the same types of guys.
It’s hard to find someone you can connect with emotionally and have good sex with. So when you find a guy who is good in bed, you hold on to him tight.
Why is this a love trap? Because you can teach someone how to be good in bed but you can’t teach them how to emotionally connect with you. If the two of you don’t connect, then you just don’t connect. Don’t force it.
You are afraid of being alone. You believe only a man can make you happy so you jump from one relationship to another because God forbid you ever find yourself alone during the weekend.
Why is this a love trap? You are willing to settle for anything as long as it means you won’t be alone, and you will sacrifice your standards just to have someone in your life.
Can you relate to any of these love traps? Watch out for the next post because we’ll tell you how to get out of a love trap.
by Jackie Kalyonge