We have all come across a narcissist at some point in our lives, but not all narcissists are the same. Here are seven different types of narcissism. Which ones have you encountered?
1. The Winner
This narcissist must “win” at everything; even the smallest action becomes a competition. Whether it’s sports, career achievements, academics, or who can eat the most chicken wings, this narcissist needs to be better than everyone else. This type of narcissist revels in having the hottest wife or girlfriend, the smartest kid, drive the coolest car or live in the trendiest house. They are never happy for a friend’s good fortune. In the narcissist’s eyes, another person’s success is their failure, and their self-esteem takes a huge hit. They may become antagonistic, or try to overcompensate by downplaying or belittling the achievements of others.
2. The Victim
This narcissist is the most conniving. They are master manipulators who use affection and emotion to keep you close to them. Their sob story has been perfected over the years, and this narcissist will easily convince you that the world is out to get them, that they are a victim. This narcissist takes no responsibility for any misfortune in their lives; it’s always someone else’s fault. They have no remorse when using blame and guilt to get what they want from others. A victim narcissist will become vengeful if things don’t go their way.
3. The Know-It-All
This narcissist is the most annoying. They believe they are more intelligent than anyone around them. They treat their opinions as fact and become deeply offended if you dare to disagree with them. This narcissist often preaches, but rarely listen. They will offer unsolicited advice to family, friends, colleagues, even strangers. The know-it-all narcissist feels that they have nothing to learn from others and will demean and belittle anyone not “smart enough” to comprehend their brilliance.
4. The Puppet Master
The puppet master narcissist has learned to control others through several different tactics and is skilled at finding an individual’s weak spot. They have no integrity; the puppet master will lie, cheat, seduce, and withhold affection from loved ones to get what they want. They use people as they see fit to benefit themselves. They will turn family members, friends or colleagues against each other to achieve their goals. This type of narcissist has no problem using your insecurities and vulnerabilities against you without a trace of remorse.
5. The Antagonist
This type of narcissist sees enemies everywhere. They berate the wait staff at restaurants, they yell at “idiot” drivers, they leave nasty notes for neighbors for perceived slights, and they make derogatory remarks about co-workers. This expression of righteous indignation helps the narcissist feel superior and in control. The antagonist is often estranged from at least one family member with no hope of reconciliation. They have very few friends, and if they are in a relationship, their partner is likely very submissive with low self-esteem.
6. The Status Symbol
To this narcissist status is everything, their self-worth is validated by how others see them. They put all their energy in accumulating wealth, power, and social status. This type of narcissist knows how much you paid for your house, whether or not your kids go to private school, or where you take your vacations. They are president of any clubs they are members of, and always take charge of any gatherings. A status narcissist if often very smart and accomplished and makes damn sure you know it.
7. The Royal
This type of narcissist don’t believe in earning special treatment – they feel they are owed it simply by birthright, much like royalty does. The rules don’t apply to them; they feel they don’t have to follow societal norms. When faced with consequences, they will react as though they are being persecuted or mistreated. The royal narcissist, after all, is above things like waiting in line or even speeding tickets. They will also treat others – equals or even superiors – as inherently lesser than themselves. The world is their kingdom, and everyone within it is their servant.
We are who we are, and that goes for narcissists. However, we have the choice and the ability not to let them control us. That’s why you need to know the characteristics of narcissists to be able to identify them. Some narcissists can be hard to spot at first, but their masks always slip at some point. That’s when you have to decide whether to walk away and preserve your sanity or live with the consequences of staying with a narcissist.
Written by Char Brown
Should I shave my facial hair?
If you find yourself asking this question, then don’t worry as you’re probably not alone. Female face shaving has increasingly drawn attention around the globe as women look for efficient ways to deal with excess facial hair. After all, a good number already shave their legs or pubes on a regular basis, plus a handful of celebrities such as Caroline Manzo, Marilyn Monroe and Kate Somerville have been known to shave their faces. But before you make any decision, it’s important to understand the procedure itself as well as its pros and cons. Read on.
The step by step process for female face shaving
Dampen a clean towel with some warm water and then press it on your face for two minutes or so. This is important for opening the pores as well as softening your hair to ensure a cleaner and less irritating shave. It can also help lower the risk of ingrown hairs. Alternatively, you can shave while in the shower (the hot water will help open those pores)
You should use quality shaving cream rather than soap. Most of the shaving creams available on the market come with anti-inflammatory, skin-protecting and soothing ingredients that not only allow for a clean shave but also minimize irritation and razor burn. If needed, you can look for a product with a feminine scent so the experience doesn’t look so inherently masculine. Simply dispense a small amount, (a quarter size may be enough) of your cream into your hands and gently rub together to obtain lather. Apply all over your face.
Be sure to use a sharp razor and first shave downwards. This will allow you to remove most of the hair as you will be shaving in the direction of hair growth. Moreover, it will help lessen skin irritation and lower the risk of ingrown hairs (which is one thing you need to be very careful about when it comes to face shaving). You can then try to shave upwards a few times to get a close shave.
You should be very careful when working around your neck, on the chin and some other areas. These are not only difficult to reach but they’re prone to cuts as they are typically thin-skinned. You can even use your tongue when shaving to help smooth the hard-to-reach hairs around areas such as the lips and chin.
When done, thoroughly rinse away the cream with warm water and dry your face with a clean towel. You can then apply your moisturizer.
Add face shaving to your daily skin care routine. If you have difficulty with this, consider other hair removal methods such as waxing and plucking. Shaving frequently is important as the new growth that follows may appear on your skin as blunt-edged stubble and can be highly noticeable.
Pros of female face shaving
Shaving easily removes the dead skin cells and reveals the fresher, younger skin underneath. So, you will enjoy the benefits of a smoother face and won’t have to waste time using other exfoliation procedures.
After shaving, some women report improvements in the overall look and condition of their skin. They say that it feels lovely and smooth, plus moisturizers and anti-aging serums sink in better. Make-up also sits better gives the skin a healthier color.
Women who are sensitive to waxing know what a nightmare it can be. Common effects include pimples, redness, itching and bruising. Such individuals can benefit by making the switch to shaving; it is much gentler on one’s skin.
Cons of female face shaving?
If you’re already using an exfoliator, washcloth or face brush and shave your face, you could increase the risk of damage to your skin due to the excessive scrubbing. Your skin may look papery and thin, or even show premature signs of aging.
Female face shaving may not be the right procedure for every woman out there, especially those who have certain conditions. If you have cold sore, rash or dermatitis, avoid shaving. Those under medication that increases the skin sensitivity should also do it carefully.
Just like men, women can get razor bumps after shaving. Razor bumps typically represent ingrown hairs or hair follicle infections and can be pretty annoying for anyone.
So, should you still go for the procedure? It’s best to evaluate the various pros and cons of female face shaving to determine whether the procedure is right for you.
written by: judekim
I remember staring out the window at the rain bouncing off the barbecue grill. Looking, but not really seeing. How had things gone so wrong?How had all my plans for the future with Alex gone up in smoke in the blink of an eye?
Alex had called one night and said we needed to talk. That should have been my first clue that something was not right. Alex had never said those words to me before. Whenever he had something to talk about, he just – did. No grand pronouncement, no asking for permission, we would just talk about whatever needed to be discussed.
I had opened the door when Alex arrived and knew immediately that it was not going to be a pleasant conversation. But what he had said was totally unexpected. Of course, as the old adage goes, “hindsight is 20/20” which in this case is true because the signs were there.
“Mand, it’s not working for me,” Alex had said. “I’m feeling claustrophobic. Things are moving too fast.”
“Too fast?” I had said. “We’ve been together for over nine months.”
“Maybe we should take a break, you know?” Alex had suggested “See if we still feel like we want to take this to the next level.”
I had looked at him like he was crazy, like I couldn’t be hearing what I was hearing. Thinking this can’t really be happening. But it was, it did.
That night was six months ago but sometimes is seems like yesterday. Oh, the hurt and shock no longer persists but the anger of being used still lingers. I suppose that to will pass in time. The irony is Alex actually did me a favor. Looking back on the relationship, I was able to see that I had started to change. I had always been a strong woman. At least that’s what I told myself but I had started to accept things from Alex that I ordinarily wouldn’t accept from a man.
I had made excuses when he would stand me up or go days without a call or text. “Alex is a busy man. He’s working hard to better himself, to get ahead.” I would tell myself. Funny, that’s one of the things that had attracted me to Alex, his ambition.
I’m no slouch when it comes to ambition. I have a five year career plan that’s on track and I’m doing pretty well. I’m proud of my accomplishments and thought I had a good work/life balance. Good friends and a loving family who helped me get through the worst of the breakup. I guess Alex thought he could do better. Thought he could get more monetarily from a different woman.
The signs were always in from of me. Alex had known ambition in a man was important to me, so he played to that trait. He had pretended to be more than he was. Showering me with gifts, always listening to how my day went, emphasizing how important he was to the company he worked for. Alex always had the latest gadgets, his car was never more than two years old and he lived in a very nice apartment.
I’ll admit these material things sweetened the deal but it was the way he had treated me that mattered the most. All the things Alex had, I could get for myself but he had made me feel special. He had made me a priority in his life until the last three months of the relationship when he started to pull back.
Three months prior to the beginning of the end, Alex had asked me for a loan, an investment in our future as he had put it. He told me he had gotten a tip about a “can’t lose” stock and wanted to invest heavily in it but his money was tied up in other investments. When I asked him how much he wanted from me, he had said $10,000 dollars. When I had balked at that amount, he had said, $5,000 would work. We wouldn’t get the biggest bang but we would get a good head start on our future.
I was never one to part easily with my money and had asked to see projections, portfolios, how he was going to pay me back. Too many questions for him. A week later he told me the window of opportunity to buy the stock had closed. And apparently, so had the progression of our relationship.
I guess once Alex had realized I was not going to part with my hard earned money without good reason, I was no longer what he wanted. To that I say “thank you!” Oh, I sure given time I would have figured out what Alex was about and ended the relationship myself but how much more time would I have wasted?
When it comes to dating now, I’m more cautious, skeptical even. After getting over Alex, I realized I had been happy before I met him. My life had been full with my family and friends. So now I ask myself when dating someone, “Am I willing to risk time that I will never get back?” “Will this person complement my life?” If the answer to either questions is no…
Sally stared up at the ceiling, arms flung wide across her bed as she contemplated her folly. She had met a nice man named Joe and they had hit it off but in her excitement to impress, she had promised to cook dinner for the pair. There was only one problem. Sally couldn’t cook. Not even a little. And the reality only set in after promises where made and assurances where given.
What now? She thought. What now?
It came to her on her morning commute. An ad played on her favorite podcast that she would normally skip over but this time it held her attention.
“Try Blue Apron,” the host explained in a chipper voice. “You receive fresh ingredients that are perfectly portioned to the recipe’s needs.”
Sally scratched her chin as she contemplated the service.
“Anyone can cook with Blue Apron!”
Anyone? Sally wondered. She planned to put that declaration to the test.
Sally received the box in time for the big night. She took a deep breath and went to work. Shrimp and fresh gnocchi was on the menu and she was determined to not screw it up. The cooking instructions came with pictures and she followed each step diligently, scrutinizing her work against the pictures.
After 30 minutes, she plated the dish. Before her was a mound of shrimp and gnocchi with bright yellow cherry tomatoes garnished with basil. Her mouth watered at the aroma and the meal matched the pictures. She nodded her head approvingly and went to clean up.
Sally watched him, probably a bit more intently than she should have, as he took the first bite. When he finished chewing, Sally realized she was holding her breath.
“Wow,” Joe commented. Sally’s eyes widened. “This is really good.”
“Really?” Sally replied hopefully.
Joe smiled. “Yeah, this must have taken a lot of work.”
Sally straightened her posture. “It was no problem at all, I’m glad you like it.”
“I’m going to have to return the favor,” Joe winked. “I’ll cook something for you.”
Sally blushed and she smiled brightly. Her mission was a success.
Joe stared at the ceiling with existential terror. Why had he promised he would cook something? Sally’s food was so good, there was no way he could top it but that didn’t stop him from running his mouth. Now, he had to deliver.
He opened his phone and looked through his contacts. He picked his best friend and called. He explained the situation, his friend mostly listening.
“So man, any ideas?” Joe said, finishing his tale of woe. Joe listened to his friend’s reply and received a promising suggestion… Blue Apron!
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Anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship has probably considered doing some snooping. Whether it’s to peek at your partner’s emails over his shoulder, or taking casual glances at their text messages. You most likely have held back any true sleuthing, unless you had reason to suspect improprieties on his part. But most likely you have thought about it. Besides you tell yourself, what harm can it do?
According to a recent survey, there are many who not only think about it, but do it on a regular basis.
Avast, the popular anti-virus software company, conducted a survey where they asked 9,202 men and women in committed, long-term relationships whether or not they have secretly checked their partner’s smartphone. Nearly one in five men and one in four women confirmed that they had.
Of course, as with most things the motives for invading your partner’s privacy, varied by gender, but not by as much as you would think.
26% of men claimed that the number one reason that they snooped was because they suspected their partner of cheating on them. 24% claimed that they did it because they were simply nosy and curious. 12% of men claimed that they wanted to catch their partner in some sort of lie.
On the other hand, women were motivated more by their curiosity. 30% said that they snooped because they were nosey. Only 21% of them suspected their partner of cheating on them, and 14% wanted to catch their men in a lie.
So for many, at least in the survey, the risk was worth the knowledge they gained. 71% of women reported that they found evidence of cheating or lying. 53% of men said evidence was found after checking their partner’s cell phone.
Obtaining access to the phones wasn’t exactly hard either. Of those that checked their partner’s cell phone, 41% of women and 33% of men confirmed that their partners’ cellphones were not password protected.
Back to the question of “What harm can it do?”
1. It’s addictive
Checking someone’s phone is like scratching a rash. The more you scratch it, the more it spreads. The best policy is to never start scratching at all, or you’ll find yourself constantly looking for opportunities to check his cellphone.
2. It’s a lose – lose situation
Say you do find something that you have questions about, now you have the dilemma of how to satisfy your curiosity without revealing how you got the information. If you actually do find evidence that indicates wrongdoing, you have to decide whether to confront the person (and admit the fact that you did something unethical/illegal) or sit in silence while the knowledge eats away at you. If you find nothing, you’ll probably feel guilty that you breached your partner’s trust.
3. Trust goes both ways
If you feel that you can’t trust your partner and need to check his communication devices, realize that you are now also untrustworthy. If caught, your partner will no longer trust you, especially if the snooping was unwarranted.
4. Best to speak up
If you are having concerns, speak up! Communicate, rather than investigate. This approach is the best way to respect yourself, your partner and the relationship.
I will leave the final conclusion up to you to decide if the breach of privacy is worth it. Especially if you are snooping just out of curiosity. But one thing I think you can take away from this article is… people snoop, and without any provocation. So at least make it a little harder for them to do so by having a password protected cellphone. Even if you have nothing to hide.
– C. Sky
It’s normal for relationships to cool down after a while. You no longer get that giddy feeling you once did when he turned the corner. You still enjoy your time with him, but there’s something missing. If you’ve been dating someone for a while, it’s normal for things to become comfortable and sometimes routine. You don’t want to become complacent, though, because that can ruin your relationship. This article outlines five reason why your relationship is no longer exciting.
1. You stopped having your own life
It’s extremely important to continue having a life of your own no matter what stage of your relationship you’re in. You can’t cling to your boyfriend constantly. You can share activities and friends, but there’s nothing wrong with enjoying your own as well. Being able to do your own thing without your boyfriend will help you hold on to a bit of your independence. If you start sitting at home waiting around for your boyfriend all the time, you may feel left out when he continues to have his own life. Being a couple doesn’t mean you have to stop having your own life.
2. You don’t make time for sex
Hopefully the enjoyment and excitement of sex with your boyfriend never wears off, but busy lives can often make us too tired at the end of the day. It’s important to make time for intimacy. It’s easier to sit in front of the TV with a pizza, but it’s important to choose to keep your relationship healthy as well. Sex can be a great stress relief. If you don’t have time for a date night, try giving each other massages. The quality time is good for your relationship and can improve your sex life.
3. You’ve let yourself go
If you’ve gotten complacent in your relationship, you may have noticed yourself gaining some weight because you are less active and eating more. It’s normal for this to happen in a relationship because you do become so comfortable with each other. It’s important to stay fit and healthy as you would when you’re single. You want to be your best for yourself, your boyfriend, and your relationship. If you’ve both let yourself go, try getting active as a couple. You’ll both feel better about yourselves and this can put the spark back into your relationship.
4. Manners and modesty no longer exist
When you become comfortable with someone, it’s common to begin burping and passing gas in front of each other. You may even go to the bathroom in front of each other. These things can really ruin the romance in a relationship. You become much too comfortable with each other and everything that was once kept private is suddenly out in the open. Keep private things private whenever possible. Always retain your manners. Don’t stop saying please and thank you. Manners make people feel appreciated and respected.
5. You don’t communicate
You won’t always have deep conversation with your partner, but it is important to ask about each others day and listen intently while stories are being told. Don’t act uninterested or walk away when your partner is talking. Remember to ask questions about your boyfriend’s interests and hobbies. Be open to talking about yours as well. If you’re upset or sad, tell your boyfriend so. He can’t read your mind.
If your relationship has lost its spark, there are things you can do to spice things up again. Be willing and eager to try new things. If you’ve gotten into bad habits, work on fixing them as a couple. A relationship that has lost its spark is not doomed.
Written by: aprilaragam