He seemed to have his shit together… for a minute. It’s during the dating period of a relationship when you should be able to spot red flags that signal a problem. You want to recognize these negative qualities before your relationship becomes more serious. The following are four signs that the man you’re dating may […]
Who doesn’t want to hear the words “I love you?”
But do the spoken words mean the same to both partners? Relationship experts explain that the phrase is often perfunctory and other words can better convey how you feel about someone.
So here are five statements you can make to let your partner know you are appreciative of them and that you are paying attention.
1. “Thank you.”
Two words that aren’t used enough. Gratitude is something that we all need and seek from people. If we do something nice for our partner, we naturally want to be thanked. By thanking them, we demonstrate that we recognize our partner’s contributions and value what they bring to the table. It’s also positive reinforcement–if they know they’ve done well, they’re more likely to repeat the good behavior in the future. If they don’t know you care, they may not.
2. “I appreciate everything you do.”
Yes, this is expanding on “thank you,” but consider it a polite acknowledgment to add to your repertoire of sincere compliments.
It’s another way to tell your partner that you value them and the contributions they make to our lives. Affirmations are fuel for a happy relationship. They keep us going when it doesn’t feel like the rest of the world appreciates us. They strengthen the bonds of the relationship and lead to an even greater desire for intimacy and closeness.
3. “I’m here for you.”
Feeling like you’re alone during a crisis is one of the worst things you can feel. Everyone needs reassurance, especially during the tough times that every relationship eventually faces.
When a partner screws up, this reassurance can go a long way to help them correct their mistakes in the future. It also helps them know that your feelings haven’t changed, and they still have your love and support.
4. “I love you the way you are.”
Oh baby, that’s it…
It’s a wide known fact that women don’t always have an orgasm every time they have sex. There are a number of reasons as to why they don’t orgasm every time but we won’t delve into that now. We don’t always let our men know that we didn’t orgasm. We’d rather let them sleep at night knowing they are sex gods and they always make us shudder with orgasms (yes, I know that part of the problem). Here are a few things guys do in bed that make us fake it.
Some guys only need you to brush your lips against theirs to get a hard on. If only it were that easy for women to get turned on. What guys need to understand is that we are not light bulbs such that when you need to turn us on, all you need to do is flick a switch.
That’s not how it works. Women need foreplay…plenty of foreplay. It shouldn’t last less than fifteen minutes. And it has to be good, not fumbling around. But some men are too lazy for foreplay so it’s just better to fake it and get it over and done with.
Arrogance is what makes some men think they are sex gods. They think that if they touch a woman’s breasts a little, maybe pinch the nipples a little harder then she’ll be turned on. Well, that technique might work for some women but it doesn’t work for all. Women are different and want different things in bed.
You know many woman don’t like anal so why bring it up when we are in the middle of having sex? “Oh, baby, can I stick it in the other hole?”
If you have a weird and disgusting sex request like a hot carl (you might want to Google that if you don’t know what it is) then ask for it after sex so we can tell you a big fat NO.
A guy has to study his woman in order to know if she likes certain things in bed or not. This way, any requests he makes won’t turn her off.
It’s not you, it’s me…
Are all your friends getting engaged, married or entering into some kind of a committed relationship while the only huge decision you’ve made is whether you should spend Thanksgiving watching reruns of Sex and the City or the Walking Dead?
You are not single because you are a boring, annoying, ugly, self-entitled bitch. Nah. You are a fun loving, hardworking and sociable person. So why are you single yet men are lining up waiting to marry you and have babies with you? It’s because you are a commitment phobe and these 8 signs will prove that you are:
The thought of having to give up control of your destiny and your life makes you shudder. You are used to living a certain lifestyle that it becomes difficult for anyone to live up to your expectations. People in relationships sometimes make sacrifices in order to make their partners happy but you can’t see yourself doing that.
There’s something about a guy who’s taken that just makes you want to go after him even more. Available guys just turn you off but when you find out they are married, your interest in them peaks. And it’s not just guys who are unavailable that you gravitate towards. You go for guys you know you can’t have a real relationship with.
For instance, you will date a guy who doesn’t believe in sticking to one girl. The moment he starts acting as if he is interested in making you his main girl, you break up with him citing that he’s a player and you can’t enter into a long term relationship with a guy like that.
Every girl has standards, some high, some low. But your standards are way up there and you refuse to lower the bar just a little. You have a long list of requirements that every guy must meet and you completely refuse to commit to him if he doesn’t check all the boxes.
What the heck is a love trap anyway?
Well, if you fall for the same type of guys repeatedly, knowingly or unknowingly, you are in a love trap. If you follow the same patterns when dating guys, you are in a love trap. So now, do you get what a love trap is? Good. We’ll now explain to you the different kinds of love traps.
You’ve known this guy since you were five years old. You grew up on the same street, went to the same school together and you’ve never dated anyone else but him. He has played you, treated you like dirt, you’ve broken up a gazillion times but somehow you find yourself back together with him.
Why this is a love trap? Because you insist on sticking to some guy who is obviously taking you for granted. Go out there and find out what the world has to offer.
Your first date with this guy was so great that you started imagining spending the rest of your life with him.
This is a love trap because first dates are never an actual representation of what the person is really like. He could be a criminal or a player. The first date is like a job interview….you only get one chance to blow your interviewer away. In this case, you are the interviewer and your date is the interviewee.
You start dating this guy only to realize that he is in a serious committed relationship or he is married but instead of breaking up with him, you start justifying why the two of you were meant to be.
Why is this a love trap? Because you keep forgetting that he isn’t your man. He is taken and you are holding on to forbidden fruits. And by the way, karma is a bitch…if you break up a happy relationship be prepared for it to come back and bite you in the ass.
How many times have you heard women say that they are looking for a financially stable man? There’s nothing wrong with wanting a man who can provide for his family but is that the only thing you need in a relationship?
We have all come across a narcissist at some point in our lives, but not all narcissists are the same. Here are seven different types of narcissism. Which ones have you encountered?
1. The Winner
This narcissist must “win” at everything; even the smallest action becomes a competition. Whether it’s sports, career achievements, academics, or who can eat the most chicken wings, this narcissist needs to be better than everyone else. This type of narcissist revels in having the hottest wife or girlfriend, the smartest kid, drive the coolest car or live in the trendiest house. They are never happy for a friend’s good fortune. In the narcissist’s eyes, another person’s success is their failure, and their self-esteem takes a huge hit. They may become antagonistic, or try to overcompensate by downplaying or belittling the achievements of others.
2. The Victim
This narcissist is the most conniving. They are master manipulators who use affection and emotion to keep you close to them. Their sob story has been perfected over the years, and this narcissist will easily convince you that the world is out to get them, that they are a victim. This narcissist takes no responsibility for any misfortune in their lives; it’s always someone else’s fault. They have no remorse when using blame and guilt to get what they want from others. A victim narcissist will become vengeful if things don’t go their way.
3. The Know-It-All
This narcissist is the most annoying. They believe they are more intelligent than anyone around them. They treat their opinions as fact and become deeply offended if you dare to disagree with them. This narcissist often preaches, but rarely listen. They will offer unsolicited advice to family, friends, colleagues, even strangers. The know-it-all narcissist feels that they have nothing to learn from others and will demean and belittle anyone not “smart enough” to comprehend their brilliance.
4. The Puppet Master
Benching is when you start dating someone you think may have potential,
but you’re not crazy about them. You’re not sure whether to keep dating them or dump them and move on to the next one. So you keep them in your mental “maybe” folder and “bench” them for later consideration. Keeping in contact just enough so that they think you’re still interested in them.
Ghosting is the act of suddenly stopping all communication with someone you’re dating but no longer wishes to be in a relationship with. This is done in hopes that the person you were dating will “get the hint” and move on without you having to take any further action.
1. With ghosting, people get the message quickly.
No one wants to be ghosted, it’s cowardly, rude and hurtful, but at least you get the message after a week or so. With benching, you could be led on for months.
2. Major ego builder for the bencher.
Let’s be real here — a lot of guys who bench do so because they like the idea of having their own “harem” of women to choose from. They’re looking to stroke their egos at the expense of others’ feeling while also keeping their options open.
3. Unlike ghosting, there’s no reason to bench.
Guys like to tell themselves they’re being honest when they bench a woman. They’re not sneaking around, they haven’t agreed to any commitment, so there shouldn’t be any expectations on the woman’s part. When a man ghosts, they typically do so because they don’t feel comfortable with breakups and want to avoid any drama that might arise from ending a relationship. In other words, because they’re cowards.
4. Both ghosting and benching say a lot about who you are.
It shows that they’re a coward. It indicates that they don’t respect the other person’s feelings. It also proves that the only person they care about is themselves.
How many of these signs do you identify with?
Too often, women don’t recognize the signs of an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes it’s because of their naiveté or worse, being in denial. Signs of a bad relationship can be subtle, something you can brush off as a few bad days, or just going through a rough patch. Fortunately, most signs are as clear as a sunny day; you just have to be willing to see them.
Whatever your reason, no one should ever settle for anything less than a loving and respectful relationship. If any of these toxic red flags apply to you, it’s time to move on – time will not make any of these signs acceptable.
You start doubting your self-worth
No one should ever make you feel like you’re unworthy, especially someone who says they love you. A caring partner should remind you of how much you mean to them and how amazing you are, even if you don’t require the reminders.
You’ve felt unsafe at ANY point
Don’t make excuses like “It was in the heat of the moment,” or tell yourself “It won’t happen again.” You should never, ever feel or be threatened. Physically or verbally.
You have to ask permission
You are not a child. Taking your partner’s thoughts into consideration is fine, but you should be able to do what you think is best without fear of reprisal from your significant other (SO).
You can’t fully be yourself
Trying to be something you’re not, or suppressing certain parts of you is not sustainable. If your SO can’t love all of you, then they sure as hell don’t deserve any of you.
You do whatever it takes to avoid a fight
You want to avoid arguments, so you acquiesce, lie, sneak around, or refuse to address things. You might think you’re helping your relationship, but you’re not. The fear of confrontations or breaking up isn’t reason enough to be passive.
You fight often
He seemed to have his shit together… for a minute.
It’s during the dating period of a relationship when you should be able to spot red flags that signal a problem. You want to recognize these negative qualities before your relationship becomes more serious. The following are four signs that the man you’re dating may be unstable.
1. He declares his love on the first date
Even if the man you’re dating thinks he’s fallen in love with you very early on, expressing this love is a bad idea. Confessing love so early on may mean that he’s a clingy boyfriend or expect the relationship to advance quickly. He may be needy of love, affection, and attention that you aren’t quite ready to give yet. People who quickly declare love are thought to do so with everyone they meet because they are desperate to be in a relationship.
2. He threatens self-harm
If the man you’re dating threatens to harm or kill himself, you are dating an unstable man. He may threaten to hurt himself if you decide to end your relationship, but remember that this is not an act of love. Even if he never does any harm to himself and only uses it as a threat to get his way or gain sympathy, this behavior is unacceptable and is a clear sign of instability.
3. He knows info about you that you didn’t tell him
Is he still pining over his ex?
You have a nagging suspicion that your boyfriend is not over his ex. That he’s not ready to move on and commit to the relationship. Before you get too emotionally attached to this man you need to recognize the signs that he STILL might not be over his ex.
He still gets emotional whenever he talks about his ex
Does your boyfriend get that far-away look in his eyes and the tiniest of smiles when he mentions his ex? Or does he blowup and call her a bitch? Either scenario might signal that he is not totally over her. You may be setting yourself up for heartache if you get involved with a man who still harbors feelings for his last love. No one wants to be the rebound girl, because it rarely works out in your favor.
He can’t stop comparing you to her
Who the hell wants to constantly be compared to their boyfriend’s ex? Most of the time it’s done in a complimentary way. He might say that you have a sweet smile just like his last girlfriend, or his ex was gentle and kind just like you.
Of course there is the other side of the spectrum where he may suggest that his ex is smarter or more athletic (which is code for skinnier) than you. No matter how the comparisons are done, he probably still has feelings for his ex.
He still talks with her… a lot
Anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship has probably considered doing some snooping. Whether it’s to peek at your partner’s emails over his shoulder, or taking casual glances at their text messages. You most likely have held back any true sleuthing, unless you had reason to suspect improprieties on his part. But most likely you have thought about it. Besides you tell yourself, what harm can it do?
According to a recent survey, there are many who not only think about it, but do it on a regular basis.
Avast, the popular anti-virus software company, conducted a survey where they asked 9,202 men and women in committed, long-term relationships whether or not they have secretly checked their partner’s smartphone. Nearly one in five men and one in four women confirmed that they had.
Of course, as with most things the motives for invading your partner’s privacy, varied by gender, but not by as much as you would think.
26% of men claimed that the number one reason that they snooped was because they suspected their partner of cheating on them. 24% claimed that they did it because they were simply nosy and curious. 12% of men claimed that they wanted to catch their partner in some sort of lie.
On the other hand, women were motivated more by their curiosity. 30% said that they snooped because they were nosey. Only 21% of them suspected their partner of cheating on them, and 14% wanted to catch their men in a lie.
It’s normal for relationships to cool down after a while. You no longer get that giddy feeling you once did when he turned the corner. You still enjoy your time with him, but there’s something missing. If you’ve been dating someone for a while, it’s normal for things to become comfortable and sometimes routine. You don’t want to become complacent, though, because that can ruin your relationship. This article outlines five reason why your relationship is no longer exciting.
1. You stopped having your own life
It’s extremely important to continue having a life of your own no matter what stage of your relationship you’re in. You can’t cling to your boyfriend constantly. You can share activities and friends, but there’s nothing wrong with enjoying your own as well. Being able to do your own thing without your boyfriend will help you hold on to a bit of your independence. If you start sitting at home waiting around for your boyfriend all the time, you may feel left out when he continues to have his own life. Being a couple doesn’t mean you have to stop having your own life.
2. You don’t make time for sex
When a woman loves, she loves for real but like they always say…
love is blind and it makes us do stupid things. In relationships, sometimes one partner might manipulate the other in order to get their way. It stops being cute when one of you feels like their partner is always twisting their arm to get what they want. So what are the obvious signs that your man is manipulating you?
You hate yourself for saying yes all the time
It makes you feel so weak and you wish you could just get up in his face and tell him “NO”.
Kate: my ex moved into my house because he’d lost his job. I thought I was helping the guy who would eventually marry me and let me have his kids. What I didn’t realize was that he also expected me to sustain his lifestyle. I am naturally generous and he knew that so he would ask me for money to go hang out with his friends or go on a shopping spree. What hurt me the most was that I was too timid to tell him no.
You get nervous when they ask you for a favor
Whenever your man asks you for a favor you get nervous because you know they’ll ask something you don’t want to do but you’ll do it anyway.
Kate: After a while, he came to me claiming he had a number of “projects” in the pipeline. He asked me for money to fund his projects but the problem was I never saw what he was working on. When I didn’t have any more money to give him, he started accusing me of not supporting his dreams. So I reluctantly asked a friend to loan me the cash. I even started tapping into my emergency fund account.
You justify your actions