If only you could change a man’s ways…
The good news is, you actually can, but only if he wants to, or is able to change.
It’s never been about what you say but it’s about how you say it. How you say what you say can make him love you more or less.
Here’s a scenario. Jackie met this guy that she really liked. All her friends told her the guy was a loser, lazy and self-centered. But in a span of just a few weeks, the guy transformed into a loyal, loving and completely new man. Sounds like a fairy tale right? So what did Jackie do that other women could not?
The answer is pretty simple…Jackie knew one very important secret about men. They need to be emotionally invested in the relationship. We gave you signs to help you recognize an emotionally unavailable man in a previous article, so use it to spot the available ones.
Men who are not emotionally invested in anything are lazy, weak and have no ambition in life. Think about athletes, for example. They are so passionate about what they do that they are willing to do whatever it takes to be the best. They have invested in their career emotionally.
So do you want your man to invest emotionally in your relationship? Here are four words you should use to help you move things along:
- Words of honor
Words of honor build endearment and fondness in your relationship. For instance, let’s take a look at two replies to the same question.
Boyfriend: Will you call Liz and her husband to confirm we are coming over for dinner?
Answer 1: Yes
Answer 2: yes my love
Which of the two replies sound like they re-affirm your love and respect towards your man? I sure hope you chose the second one. Nothing gives a man motivation more than being reassured they still hold that special place of honor in your relationship.
So the next time your man asks you to do for him a favor, don’t just reply “yes, I will.” Try something like “aye-aye captain” or something more playful.
- Words of admiration
What do you love most about your man? Make a list and give it to him on a special occasion. If you are celebrating one year of being together, read out the list to him. Tell him what you admire most about him. All men crave respect and admiration. In fact, you don’t even have to create a list. You can tell him a thing or two that you love about him any day. Think about it. Wouldn’t you like it if your man told you the things he liked about you? If he tells you he likes the way you make that pasta dish, wouldn’t you go out of your way to make it for him more often?
- Words of appreciation
Let’s say you have this sales job. You have been working hard, day and night, to meet your target. Your boss doesn’t even acknowledge your efforts. She just shrugs and sets your report aside. No words of appreciation like “great job” or “you did good today”. Nothing. Would you really be motivated to meet your target next time?
The same applies to relationships. When you show your man that you appreciate how hard he works for the relationship, he will work even harder. Recognize his efforts and show your honest appreciation.
- Words of support
A guy will work hard to provide for his family when he knows his wife has his back. A man needs to know that he is not alone. So when you show a man you are by his side, he will do anything to ensure you are happy. Words like “you got this” or “let me know how I can help” are powerful words that can motivate almost any man.
Go ahead and try these words out for yourself and see what difference it makes in your man. But remember, if you’re with a man who is emotionally unavailable, someone who is unable or unwilling to change, no matter what you say is going to change him. And your efforts will go to waste.
Men need roles in a relationship, and they need to feel special. Don’t make him too comfortable in the relationship because he will become lazy. And don’t do 90% of the work in the relationship because he will be too lazy to fulfill his role in the relationship.