Let’s just start by saying cheating boyfriends shouldn’t be forgiven easily, if at all.
If he cheats on you, break up with him or talk to him…just don’t let him disrespect or humiliate you again. But sometimes love can be so strong you just don’t see how you can break it off with your boyfriend just because of one discrepancy.
Most women are afraid that if they forgive their significant other for cheating, people will think they are weak or stupid. But take the example of Hillary Clinton. She got cheated on by her husband but she took him back anyway. The only person who ended up with egg on her face was Monica Lewinsky, the mistress. It takes a strong woman to forgive a cheating boyfriend so if you must take him back, make sure he does these six things:
He has to let go of the other woman
He has to kick her to the curb. It doesn’t matter if he has known her since kindergarten. In fact, he has to end things with her if he has known her since kindergarten. If they have known each other for that long, there are probably feelings involved and whatever was going on between them was more than sexual so there’s a high chance he might cheat again if she sticks around. Giving up his friend is a huge sacrifice but after what he put you through, he had better do it. Besides, what sort of friend is she if she doesn’t mind breaking up relationships?
He has to invest back into the relationship
So he serenaded you outside your office and he performed a flash mob dance for you at the airport just before you hopped onto your next flight…big deal. Grand gestures are just not enough; don’t make it too easy for him to get you back. What are some of the things he never used to do before you found out he was cheating on you? Make him do them all. Make him take out the trash every day. Make him bring you flowers every day. Make him cook dinner for you every day. Make him do whatever you feel it will take for you to forgive him.
He needs to show you why he wants you back
Why does he want you back and more importantly, what value will he be adding to your life? He cheated on you in the first place because he wasn’t getting something from you. Of course that was the wrong way to go about things but at the same time he also took something from you when he cheated on you. He needs to come back into your life as a supportive element, not the guy who’ll make you cry every night.
He shouldn’t expect you to return any favors
Just because he has promised he will take out the trash every day or make you gourmet meals every evening doesn’t mean that you will be sleeping with him again. He shouldn’t expect anything from you. In fact, he shouldn’t expect that after he does all those things you will take him back. He might be making all these gestures for nothing but it’s a risk he has to make.
He has to figure out a way to win your trust back
Just because he has been sending you flowers to your doorstep everyday doesn’t mean that he will automatically win back your trust. He already knows he lost your trust the moment he cheated on you so he has to understand that things won’t go back to the way they were. Anytime he isn’t in sight you’ll always be wondering where is he, who is he with and what is he doing. It will be his job to ensure you are not nervous about his whereabouts. He’ll have to frequently call you and text you.
He needs to get help
Yes, therapy, especially if he has cheated with more than one woman. Eric Benet cheated on Halle Berry because he was a sex addict and he went to therapy to get help. So your boyfriend might have cheated because he has some psychological issues. Maybe something happened to him when he was twelve years old; who knows? He needs to go for counseling if he wants to get back with you. If he doesn’t get help, he might just cheat on you again.
We know, all this sounds a little extreme and frankly, it sounds like a lot of hard work. Don’t feel guilty about making him do all these things. He cheated on you so let him work to get you back.