You knew your boyfriend had a child with another woman…
and you figured you could make things work. But now you are re-thinking your decision. You didn’t sign up for the drama, and the thought of dealing with his ex for umpteen years makes you want to pull out your hair. But before you make any rash decisions, we have a few tips you can use to deal with baby mama drama and possibly save your relationship.
Put yourself in her shoes
This will help you understand her and where all the baby mama drama is coming from. Almost every woman who becomes pregnant hopes that she’ll one day get married to the father of her child and live happily ever after. As you know, not every woman gets to live out this fairy tale and she realizes sooner than later she has to be a single mom. Some women take it well and others take out all their anger and frustration on the father of their child.
So, at the end of the day remember that the baby mama is a woman with emotions just like you. Ask your man what sort of relationship he had with his baby mama, how he felt when she told him she was pregnant and why their relationship ended. This might help you understand the situation a whole lot better.
Let him handle his own shit
It’s only natural that your man will vent to you how much his baby mama is driving him insane. He might vent about every disagreement or qualms they have between them but whatever you do, keep your negative comments to yourself…don’t interfere with your negative energy. Turning your man against the mother of his child is definitely not a step in the right direction.
The best you can do make helpful suggestions. Let him fight his own battles. Your role will only be to support him. If she is interfering with your relationship, your man should handle her. We are not saying that you should bend over backwards and let her damage your relationship but your man should put his baby mama in her place way before she gets to you. You shouldn’t have to deal with her insults or the fact that she’s disrespecting you. Your man should stand up for you.
Understand that she’s not going anywhere
Yeah, she is there to stay until her kids turn 18 years old. So stop day dreaming about how much better your relationship with your man would be if only his baby mama would go away or sign over custody. Unless your man didn’t tell you he had a baby mama, you signed up for the drama so prepare to deal with it.
Try to make peace with her
Women are territorial especially when it comes to their children. Now that your boyfriend’s baby mama is aware that you are dating the father of her children, in her mind she’s thinking you are trying to replace her.
Try and talk to her and assure her that you are not trying to replace her as the mother of her children. Tell her you know there’s a bond between her, her children and the father of her children that you simply cannot break. Assure her that her children will always know she is their mother. This might help reduce all the drama and bitterness she has.
Don’t start a fight with her
Some baby mamas make it a mission to ruin all their baby daddy’s relationships. They like driving the new women in the father of their children’s lives insane. She’s always spoiling for a fight. So if she does something to upset you, don’t engage her.
If you fight with her, she will probably verbally fight with your man and you too will vent out your frustrations on your man… he’ll probably snap from all the drama and end your relationship.
If you truly want your relationship to last, you have to adjust to the situation. You can’t wish the baby mama away and you can’t interfere with the drama. But you can make your man know exactly how you feel and remember there’s a child involved. So if your man is a responsible father, his child will always come first even when he has to make a crucial decision in your relationship.