The majority of women have done this in their relationship at some point.
As I’ve matured, I’ve become a woman that knows what she wants, and I’m not afraid to ask for it. But I haven’t always been this assertive. In the past, I honestly had no idea exactly what I wanted and felt I couldn’t risk bruising my partner’s ego by asking for certain things.
For some reason, I saw my satisfaction as secondary to my partner’s. I thought I was supposed to pretend to enjoy myself in an effort not to make sex “too complicated” or unenjoyable. To not come across as difficult.
So I lied. I moaned, groaned and smiled, and sometimes I was barely able to keep myself from yawning when I was less than impressed by my partner. I claimed to like the things being done to my body that was, well, plain awful.
We have allowed some men to maintain a sense of pride and confidence in their lovemaking skills when they should have received a failing grade. Not only as women did we fail our partners by giving them a passing grade, but we also doomed the next woman to mediocre sex.
So to set the record straight, I have compiled a list of lies that I, and some of the women I know have told in the past.
Lie: “Yes, of course I came.”
Truth: I’ve never completed with you because you don’t last long enough.
If a man can only last five minutes as most do on average, and he expects that you will have an orgasm from intercourse alone, he is an idiot. If you are allowing him to believe that will, you probably never will. If it’s taking five minutes from start to finish (no foreplay) you will always be frustrated. Don’t lie to him and have him believe otherwise, because he’ll assume five minutes is enough with his next partner.
Lie: “Size doesn’t matter.”
Truth: Come on, let’s be real. You damn well know it does.
What woman doesn’t like the look of a well-endowed man? We can become aroused just looking at a penis with an impressive length and thickness that’s rock hard.
But isn’t just about looks. Functionally, very tiny penises don’t really feel like much is happening. Sometimes, you think it’s in, but you have no idea. All of this is not to say that a smaller penis can’t be worked with, but a man who has one should know he has one, and learn how to use it the best he can.
Lie: “You are the best I’ve ever had.”
Truth: If you were, I wouldn’t even have to tell you.
If you were the best I’d ever had, here’s how you’d know; I’d be passed out panting after our sexcapade, and you would be the first person I called whenever I needed to blow off some steam. If a man is truly the best a lady has ever had, he can push her sexual boundaries because she will always be receptive and willing to try different things. If a woman seems unengaged, that means you aren’t the best, so don’t waste time fishing for that compliment.
Lie: “I’ve only been with (x) number of guys.”
Truth: Well, what precisely do you mean by “been with?”
In America’s hook-up culture it’s getting harder to keep track of everyone you have a sexual encounter with. Especially if we include the entire range of sexual expressions (oral, hands, a bit of spanking, dry humping, sexual intercourse, etc.). Some woman can, a lot can’t, so let’s keep it 100 on that fact. Many millennial ladies are not virgins, and we shouldn’t have to pretend to be one to make any dude feel better.
Lie: “Penetration is the best.”
Truth: Penetration is the least likely way to get women off.
Don’t get me wrong, there is something delicious about penetration. It helps you feel connected to your partner in a way that other sex acts might not. But let’s face it, it’s just not the easiest way for women to get off.
Lie: “Ohhhhhh!! Yyyeaahhhh! That’s it!!!”
Truth: “Hurry the hell up and come!”
Often, us ladies are doing all of that moaning and screaming not necessarily because the sex is that mind-blowing, but because you’ll think we’re on the verge and go ahead and release your wad. Don’t believe me, fellas? Well, check out the studies, only 57% of women reach completion every time they have sex with their partner.
Ladies, it’s not all the man’s fault; as women we must take some responsibility for not getting what we want out of lovemaking. And the only way to do that is stop inflating men’s egos. If the sex is bad, let them know, in a gentle way of course. Life is too short to put up with bad sex!