He seemed to have his shit together… for a minute.
It’s during the dating period of a relationship when you should be able to spot red flags that signal a problem. You want to recognize these negative qualities before your relationship becomes more serious. The following are four signs that the man you’re dating may be unstable.
1. He declares his love on the first date
Even if the man you’re dating thinks he’s fallen in love with you very early on, expressing this love is a bad idea. Confessing love so early on may mean that he’s a clingy boyfriend or expect the relationship to advance quickly. He may be needy of love, affection, and attention that you aren’t quite ready to give yet. People who quickly declare love are thought to do so with everyone they meet because they are desperate to be in a relationship.
2. He threatens self-harm
If the man you’re dating threatens to harm or kill himself, you are dating an unstable man. He may threaten to hurt himself if you decide to end your relationship, but remember that this is not an act of love. Even if he never does any harm to himself and only uses it as a threat to get his way or gain sympathy, this behavior is unacceptable and is a clear sign of instability.
3. He knows info about you that you didn’t tell him
If the man you’re dating asks you about your upcoming work party, but you never told him about it, this could be a sign that he’s unstable. Someone who goes out of his way to check up on you and possibly stalk you might be a little too interested in you; in an unhealthy way. If he continually seeks out information about your life and confronts you with “why didn’t you tell him about this”, he may be extremely insecure.
4. He responds to messages intended for you
If your friend or family member has left you a message on social media asking what you’re doing on the weekend, and the man you’re dating answers on your behalf, this is not just bad decorum, but could also be a sign that he’s unstable. Whether these messages to you are public (Facebook or Twitter) or private (email or text), the man you’re dating should leave them for you to answer. The fact that he thinks he has to answer for you shows he might be controlling and that behavior will not make for a healthy, stable relationship.
Unstable people can become controlling and even dangerous. Noticing the signs of an unstable man in the early stage of dating, can save you from an unhappy, drama filled, unhealthy relationship.