What some people fail to recognize is that just because someone doesn’t put their hands on you doesn’t mean they aren’t abusive. Abuse is control, blatant disrespect, in words or physical action. Emotional abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse.
Most people would like to believe that they could recognize an abusive person after only a few conversations. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Abusive people are often hard to spot. If you’re not the target of their abusive behavior, you may never know what they’re actually like until their victim speaks out about the abuse.
According to psychotherapist Amy Lewis Bear, “Abusers can be highly skilled at projecting an attractive image that convinces others they have solid personal values and wouldn’t be capable of abuse. An abuser’s thoughtful and caring behavior toward others gives their victims more reason to take the blame.”
Even though it’s sometimes hard to spot an abuser, it’s not impossible. It’s important to know how to spot an abuser; not only to avoid being a victim but for the family and friends who inevitably blame themselves for not being able to stop the abuse.
1. Abusers are regular people, but here’s the catch…
Remember, abusers don’t seem like normal people because they’re good at pretending – it’s because they are ordinary people, who lead entirely normal lives outside of their cycles of abuse.
The catch? They like playing the blame game.